


Dear Mama

by Ferrero13



Series: From Russia with Love [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, Getting Together, Letters, M/M, Pining, Sass, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 01:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 30,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8470039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferrero13/pseuds/Ferrero13
Summary: In which Victor writes letters to his mother, who is fifty percent of his rationality and self-control.Chinese | French | Russian | Vietnamese





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Tiếng Việt available: [Dear Mama](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320480) by [EriGure](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EriGure/pseuds/EriGure)
  * Translation into Français available: [Dear Mama](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11646282) by [Takeya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takeya/pseuds/Takeya)
  * Translation into Русский available: [Дорогая мама](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14126925) by [Inuya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inuya/pseuds/Inuya)



> Disclaimer: I am not Russian. If I get anything wrong, please tell me before I make an even bigger fool of myself.
> 
> READ FIRST: In light of episode 10 (WHAT IS AIR), details are being revised to fit the new canon. Original texts will still be viewable by hovering over revised texts.

Dear Mama,

I hope you don’t hear it from the news first, but knowing how fast the rumour mill works, I’m not keeping my hopes up. Anyway, I thought I should let you know that I’m going to Japan. In fact, I’m probably already there when you read this. Don’t listen to what Yakov tells you; I’m not retiring just yet. I’ve just found something much more interesting there, and I think you’ll appreciate the fact that I’m actually doing something productive this time even when I’m uninspired. I know you hated having to deal with me complaining about it the last time it happened.

I don’t know what I’ll find in Japan—well, I have a fairly good idea that there’ll be ninjas and a skater in serious need of my coaching expertise, but nothing much apart from that—but I’m optimistic that I’ll manage to stage a return for at least one more season after my time there.

Knowing how much more you care about Makkachin than me, I feel obliged to tell you that she’s coming with me, so you don’t need to worry about her starving to death (not that I’d ever let that happen) while I go gallivanting across the globe. I’ve foisted all my plants onto my neighbour as well, so you don’t need to worry about those either.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Do you think Katsuki would respond positively if I tried to seduce him? It's _that_ Katsuki from last year's GPF banquet dance off, the one who beat Yura despite being completely smashed. Even if it turns out that I can’t do anything about his skating or be inspired by him, I’ll at least get some fun out of it so it wouldn’t be a complete waste of time.

\---

Dear Vitya,

I don’t mean to be rude, but aren’t you getting on a bit too much in years to continue professional figure skating for much longer? Don’t give me that look. I know you’re as stubborn as your father and his father before him—speaking of which, your grandfather says hello and to actually bring somebody who’s not a one-night stand back for the New Year this time—but I’m worried about your health. I’ve seen your feet. Despite my genes, they’re not pretty. I love that you love your job (we’re waiting for you to send your latest trophy to add to the trophy room) but as your mother your health is more important to me. Don’t exert yourself in Japan, eat three square meals a day, and remember that Makkachin will hate you forever if you forget to take her out for walks.

Japan is very far away and very different from Russia. You don’t even speak a word of Japanese. How are you going to survive there? I’ve gathered from your letter (which is frankly appallingly sparse on any information I care about) and news reports (which seem to understand what I want to know about you better than you do) that you’re headed there to coach a Japanese figure skater called Yuuri Katsuki, whom you mentioned by name only in a postscript. Personally, I feel that this would be fantastic for your body, but I’m concerned that you might be too invested in seducing this Japanese man (who, if memory serves me right, wasn't particularly receptive to you when sober and had to down 16 glasses of champagne before tangoing with you) to do any actual coaching.

In other words, NO, Vitya, I don’t think you should seduce Katsuki, not that you actually asked for my opinion. For what it’s worth, I don’t think that he would respond positively either. People generally do not appreciate being reminded of their drunken shenanigans unless their name is Christophe Giacometti. Please don’t make a mess of this and turn an otherwise functional human being into a whirlpool of fury whose rage is concentrated on you. I love you too much to lose you in such an unimpressive manner.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. While I am offended that you think I love Makkachin more than I love my own son, I regret to inform you that this is actually true. I’m sorry, Vitya, but Makkachin will always come first. Your plants are a close second. But take comfort in the knowledge that you rank third, above your brother, whom I think was swapped at birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike most of my stories, I have not written or planned out anything beyond the first chapter, so this fic is particularly susceptible to loopholes, just as I am particularly susceptible to interesting suggestions.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Mama,

Pork cutlet bowls are the food of gods! It turns out that the Katsuki’s are more than willing to let me stay with them. They run a hot spring inn and Mama Katsuki makes the most divine pork cutlet bowls. I’ll see if I can persuade her to share her recipe so I can make it for you when I come home. I can understand why Yuuri has troubles keeping fit now. He really is a fair bit chubbier than most other figure skaters, but I can’t have my protégé flop in competition just because he can’t get his weight under control, so starting from tomorrow we’re going running every morning until his weight is back to what it was before the Grand Prix Final.

And while we’re on the topic of Yuuri, seducing him has proven to be an unexpected effort in futility. His face becomes an alarming shade of red (it’s actually surprisingly adorable) whenever I get close to him, and he actually backs away from me. For somebody who once pole danced with Chris in the middle of a banquet, he seems downright uncomfortable being flirted with. Maybe you’re right, Mama. Maybe it’s not a good idea to seduce him. Nevertheless, I am a very stubborn person (as you’ve so kindly pointed out), and this is the most fun I’ve had—and most inspired I’ve felt—in a long time, so I think I’ll persevere a bit and see if I can’t wear him down. After all, a good coach should know his student well, right?

Come to think of it, isn’t that why Yakov is the absolute worst, Mama, because he’s always telling people not to do things without ever telling them why? I think Yura would be a less angry boy overall if Yakov understood why he wanted to do quads even though he knows they aren't good for his body. Speaking of Yura, you’ll look after him for me while I’m gone, won’t you? You know how he just forgets to eat sometimes if nobody reminds him.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Makkachin is enjoying Japan, which is great. She’s also enjoying leaving me at night to sleep with Yuuri, which is less great. I’m not used to sleeping alone. Apart from this, I am enjoying Japan very much too. Coaching is actually quite enjoyable as well. There’s something special about Yuuri that I’m hoping to bring out. Have you watched him skate my FS yet? If he’d performed half as well as that (or at the banquet afterwards) during the Grand Prix, he would’ve medalled. I can’t just let that sort of potential go to waste, especially since he's already 23.

\---

Dear Vitya,

After meditating on your last letter, I have come to the conclusion that I have raised the most ridiculous child in all of Russia. I blame your father, mostly. Vitya, if even you acknowledge that seducing Katsuki Yuuri is a bad idea, there is no reason for you to persist in making the poor man uncomfortable. I swear you have a brain somewhere in that head of yours because no child of mine can be _that_ silly, but some days even I have difficulty convincing myself that it exists. Vitya, Vitya, Vitya, if you’re serious about being this boy’s coach (and I happen to think you are, because nobody, not even you, just buys a one-way ticket to Japan on a whim), please be a bit more professional. Wait for him to reach out to you. Get to know him, yes, but don’t just get all into his personal space like I know you do sometimes. I know he asked you to be his coach last year, but he was _drunk_ , Vitya. Give him some time to get used to his new reality, and, for the love of your father's allegedly secret vodka stash, please back down if sober Katsuki decides that he doesn't _actually_ want to be coached by you. At least let him lead this once, all right? I know rejection hurts, but if you want this arrangement to have any chance of lasting until the end of the season, you'll have to tone your I-am-a-sparkly-prince act down. You can’t keep it up forever anyway.

Regarding Yurochka, he’s actually not in Russia anymore. In fact, he’s heading your way. Be prepared and very afraid. And don’t tell Yakov that I booked his flight. Did you actually promise the boy to choreograph his senior debut and then just completely forget about it at the first sight of a cute Japanese man skating to your FS (arguably better than you even)? I don’t know why I keep hoping that your memory and sense of responsibility to anybody but yourself would improve after 27 years of very little progress. Sort this out, Vitya, before you start making more promises you fail to keep. I also heard from Yurochka that you didn’t even realise that Katsuki was one of your competitors at the Grand Prix Final, so you at least owe it to Katsuki to decide between him and Yurochka before he commits to having you, my airheaded son whom I love but who really needs to be more aware of everything in general, as his coach.

This letter may seem very harsh, Viten'ka, but I write it all with love. I’m worried about you. You seem so reckless lately. Take a dip in the hot springs while you’re there, and maybe that will help to centre you.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. Thanks for the pictures of Makkachin. Send some of yourself once in while too. Your grandfather doesn’t like having to use social media to see your handsome face because he’s a grumpy old man unwilling to embrace change. Well, I say this, and yet here we are exchanging letters via snail mail. Maybe I too am becoming a grumpy old man unwilling to embrace change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to use Russian nicknames because apparently nobody in Russia calls anybody by their names unless they're teachers or something. If I've messed up, please correct me. I'm basically just reusing the nicknames I've seen in canon, but maybe different nicknames are for different relationships and I honestly have no idea how these conventions work. I've looked things up but I'm still very confused. If no corrections are forthcoming I'll edit the first chapter to use nicknames too.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Mama,

Am I selfish? I thought it would be easy to give someone else my choreography but it’s nothing like that. I’ve been working on two SPs since the end of the last season, and I showed them to Yuuri and Yura today. As a coach and a choreographer, I should be glad to give them away, to see my choreography get out there and my skaters perform them, but all I can think about now is how both of them are taking away something that was supposed to be mine. I made these SPs, I want to skate to them, but now all I can do is stand around and teach them how to replace me. Even if both programmes were technically inspired by Yuuri's post-GPF drunken dancing, I'm somehow still reluctant to let him skate either of them.

Mama, I’m selfish, aren’t I? I’ve had such a good run. I’m 27. I should let others take over now. When I was younger, I’d liked the competition. I’d encouraged others. I’d welcomed threats. When did I become like this? When did I get so petty?

In a week, Yuuri and Yura will be competing against each other with the SPs I’ve given them for the chance to be my student. I think there’s a good chance it’ll be aired on some local channel, but I’m not sure if it’ll reach Russia. I’ll try to get a recording of it so you can watch how they’re doing. I would offer to coach them both, but Yura wants to go back to Russia and I can’t very well drag Yuuri away from these wonderful hot springs. Part of me hopes Yuuri will win just so I can continue enjoying them every day.

Yura is still a brat, you know? I’m trying to get both Yuuri and Yura in touch with their SP themes without actually telling them what to think about, but Yura’s trying too hard. I’ve given him the theme _agape_ , selfless love, and I’m surprised that his grandfather wasn’t the first thing to come to mind. In fact, nothing has come to his angry, grumpy mind. He’s too focussed on the technical elements of his programme. Yuuri, on the other hand, has somehow come to the completely unexpected conclusion that his _eros_ is best represented by _pork cutlet bowls_. Mama, I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a coach if this is what my students do with programmes I had to force myself to give them.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. I’m not actively seducing Yuuri anymore. You can stop worrying about that now. I can’t compete with food, especially not with food as delicious as the pork cutlet bowls that his mother makes.

P.P.S. You’ll find some pictures of me, together with Yuuri and Yura, attached. Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to take pictures in the hot springs themselves. Tell dedushka that he can have more if he promises not to throw darts at my face again for “motor skills practice.”

P.P.P.S. Would you mind sending all of my costumes to the return address of this letter? I highly doubt that either Yuuri or Yura have thought about what they’d be wearing for the competition, and I'd rather shave my hair off than have them in sweatpants for their first performance as my students.

\---

Dear Vitya,

It’s okay to be selfish once in a while. This is a big change. You’ve gone from somebody who’s always on the receiving end to somebody who has to give and give. You do realise that you’re actually in charge of not just your own career, but also the career of somebody else now, don’t you? Most people don’t just make the decision to do that overnight. Give yourself some time to adjust to the change. I don’t say this often because you rarely admit that anything is wrong to me anymore, but I’m very proud that you’ve recognised your shortcomings and are trying to come to terms with them. (Frankly, Vitya, your love life is a textbook example of ‘wrong,’ but I’ll let you off this lecture just this once because you have much bigger problems than getting laid but never actually getting into a relationship.)

In the interest of being brutally honest with you, Vitya, you’ve actually always been a bit selfish—it’s just never had the chance to manifest in this way before, because up until now all you needed to do to satisfy your hunger was win and continue winning. Now, you have to put someone else’s needs above yours; you have to stop wanting to win; you have to desire _someone else’s_ victory. I’m not saying that it will be easy, but I know you can do this. You’re stubborn, aren’t you? Don’t let this get you down, or your grandfather will actually throw darts at your face again. (The first time really was an accident, Vitya. Stop taking it to heart. He only did it a second time because your reaction was too funny.)

I also know that you’re very hard on yourself. You hold yourself to very exacting standards and can’t stand to be anything less than perfect even though you never ask this of anyone else. This isn’t the time to hold on to those beliefs. Cut yourself some slack. It’s time to transfer those standards to Yurochka and Katsuki if you’re sincere about wanting them to be the best they can be.

That said, we look forward to the recording, and the costumes are on their way. Getting them to you on such short notice is expensive—we hope you’re covering the cost.

Vitya, saying that you’re not _actively_ seducing Katsuki does not reassure me in any way. For everyone’s sake, I hope Katsuki actually wants to be seduced by you, otherwise this could put a premature end to your sudden foray into coaching if Katsuki wins. Considering, however, that Katsuki’s idea of sensual love involves food, of which you are certainly not (unless you are far more exciting in bed than I, your mother, would ever want to know), I’m not confident that you even qualify as a potential partner for him.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. Your grandfather has so far refrained—very admirably, I might add—from putting holes in your face. He’s much more concerned that Katsuki will sue you for sexual harassment since you’re always pressed up against him in all of these photographs. Even Yurochka is standing at a respectable distance away from you like the sensible, if very prickly, boy that he is. If I’m wrong about Katsuki’s love for food and it turns out that he actually doesn’t mind my irresponsible son, I want to be the first person to know, all right? I haven’t seen you smile this brightly in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insecure Victor gives me life.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Mama,

Do you think Yakov is right? Do you think I’m too self-centred to be anybody’s coach? Yura disappeared before Yuuri even finished his programme. I was going to offer to coach him in Japan, but he apparently thought that I only have enough time for one skater. That wasn’t part of the terms of the competition. I didn’t say that I would only take on one of them. The competition basically amounted to a convenient way of determining where I would stay—in Japan according to Yuuri’s wishes if he won, back to Russia to be Yura’s coach if he won. I said nothing about not coaching the one who lost. I only promised to choreograph his senior debut—which I delivered on the SP front—but I would’ve also coached him if he’d asked. I would’ve _asked_ him if he still wanted me as his coach. Mama, I don’t know where he is. I’m worried about him. I’ve texted Yakov to let him know that Yura is going back to St. Petersburg. Hopefully he’s not too upset with me that he wouldn’t pick Yura up from the airport out of spite.

But enough about Yura. Now that he’s decided that he wants to be Yakov’s student again, I should focus on Yuuri. I’m sending a CD with the recording of the competition coverage together with this letter. Please watch. Yuuri was absolutely stunning. I can’t believe he managed that by thinking of pork cutlet bowls. It’s not going to win him the Grand Prix Final yet, but once he fixes his salchow and gets used to the flow of the steps, I think we’re looking at a potential world champion. I never thought I’d see this costume on ice again, but I’m really glad that he chose it. You can tell that he’s clearly a man—it’s hard to mistake him for a woman with that sort of body and that sort of face—but there’s something exquisitely delicate about the way he moves, like he’s drawing from the best of both sexes. You’ve seen Plushenko, haven’t you? This is nothing like Sex Bomb. They’re both equally sensual (which begs the question of how on earth Yuuri achieved this level of sensuality while being inspired by _food_ ), but the quality of Yuuri’s steps has lent him this grace and ephemerality that Plushenko never had. God, his expressions are phenomenal, too. You wouldn’t expect them from somebody thinking of pork cutlet bowls, but that’s exactly why he’s so amazing. He delivers, even if he has to think of food. Watching him gives me shivers. He’s not coy on the ice, either, nothing like he is off it. He embodies the theme and it shows. I’ve never been so breathless after anybody’s skate. I’ve never even been so breathless after my _own_ free skate.

Mama, I’m so excited to be his coach, but I’m also so afraid that I’d ruin him. I didn’t think about this before because I was too preoccupied with getting to him before somebody else did, but I’m so new to this, and Yuuri is so fragile. I’m afraid that I might accidentally break him and I won’t be able to put him back together again. Just before his performance, he asked me to look only at him, and it was like my opinion was all he cared about. Mama, what if he trusts me too much, only for me to fail to live up to all of his expectations? He’s 23, Mama. You know how short our careers are; there isn’t room for error, there won’t be time for do-overs. I’m torn between being pleased that I would be the one to show the world how great he is, and upset that all of this potential has been left untapped for so long, and so, so terrified that I might not enough for him.

I came here thinking that I would find inspiration, and I did find what I was looking for. But the thing is, I might end up with collateral damage on my hands when this is over. I didn’t think of what it would mean if I failed Yuuri. Maybe Yakov is right. Maybe I _am_ self-centred.

Tell dedushka that he’s welcome to put as many holes through my face as he likes if I ever let Yuuri down. But don't let me see whatever he's chosen to throw darts at after he's done with it; it's bound to be more depressing than Jora after his breakup with Anya.

Love,  
Victor

\---

Dear Vitya,

I know I’ve said that you’re flighty many times before, and I know I’ve told you to be more serious, but you’re worrying me. If you eventually come to the conclusion that coaching doesn’t suit you, you’re always welcome back in Russia. I miss hearing about my silly son’s shenanigans in St. Petersburg, disastrous one night stands and all.

Now, if you _are_ still determined to be Katsuki’s coach, I feel obliged to tell you that Yakov is a bitter old man. He may be a good coach—at least, he was good for your skating, if not for your personality—but Yakov isn’t god. I want you to do your best and prove him wrong because I know you can do it. If you find that you can’t believe in yourself, let me (and Katsuki) believe in you for you. You’ve always performed well under pressure, so hopefully this will help to motivate you. Right now, it doesn’t matter if you don’t think that you’re good enough. Katsuki needs you. I read that he was about to give up skating before you decided to coach him, but the Katsuki I saw skating to _Eros_ did not look like a man about to abandon skating. He looked like a man in love with it. If anything, I think you’ve sparked something in him just by being there. Take from this what you will, but if you genuinely wish the best for Katsuki’s career, I think just staying by him and challenging him is already a step in the right direction. You’ve done more for him in this past month than anybody else; it’s probably safe to say that Katsuki will be serving pork cutlet bowls at his family’s inn if you hadn’t shown up. You’ll learn how best to coach him eventually, so trust yourself more.

Don’t worry about Yurochka. Yakov has given him a very thorough dressing down. Given how he trained you and how he’s training Yurochka, I have a feeling that the man’s coaching modus operandi is probably ‘tough love.’ I do not envy either of you.

By the way, Vitya, your grandfather wants you to know that the reason why Katsuki’s performance is so different from Plushenko’s is because he isn’t seducing an audience with "tried-and-tested manly machoism" (his words, not mine) like Plushenko is. He’s seducing one person, and he’s pretty much tailored his performance to hold the gaze of that one person. He knows what this person likes and is not afraid to flaunt the fact that he has what it takes to draw and keep their attention.

You’re kind of slow sometimes, so I’ll state this explicitly: he’s seducing you, Vitya.

What are you going to do about that? I think, on some level, you already know this. That whistle was not very subtle at all. Even your father, whose idea of a surprise proposal involved trying and failing to hide twenty-three (a nice prime number that pleased his sensibilities as a maths professor) roses behind his back, was less obvious than that. You know that he was (and probably still is) a fan of yours, and you know that he loses his cool when you get too close. You say that you aren’t actively seducing him anymore, but maybe some part of you couldn’t completely let go of the idea of taking this young man to your bed. I know you’re very capable of getting somebody to stop putting moves on you when you put your mind to it, but you certainly don’t seem to be pulling out all the stops now. I don’t want to police your sex life because I have much better things to do than that, but be careful with him, all right? I don’t know if he genuinely likes you or if it is star struck idolatry that’s driven him to step so far out of his comfort zone to seduce you, but as long as you’re on the same page as him I think the two of you will be fine. Just don’t try to take more than he’s willing to give.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. Your grandfather promises to put holes in your face if you let Katsuki down. He says it’s no hardship for him. I’m actually quite concerned that he’s being a little too enthusiastic. In any case, I’ve made copies of your photos so we can keep the originals if he ever gets too impatient and starts stabbing them regardless of what happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats* Victor's mother is getting less sassy as Victor grows more insecure. I hope people are still okay with her. At this point, she's probably too worried about ruining his self-esteem to sass him too much. I promise the sass master will be back, and silly Victor will be returning too. The adjustment period is just tough for everyone.


	5. Chapter 5

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, June 15, 2016 at 20:53  
Subject: Mama I fucked up

Yuuri won’t talk to me. He’s never avoided me like this before. All I did was point out that he’s never had a lover and suddenly he’s not even looking at me anymore. It’s like the time you forgot Papa’s birthday and he stopped talking to you for a week, but I don’t know Yuuri well enough to know why exactly that set him off and how to fix it. I know we should probably talk this out, but I don’t know how to approach it. I think he’s insecure about his (lack of) relationships—how do I tell him there’s nothing wrong with him?

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, June 15, 2016 at 21:06  
Subject: Mama I fucked up

That you sent an email instead of a letter worries me a little. That you didn't sign off worries me even more.

First of all, _ask him what’s wrong_. You won’t know for sure what’s wrong if you don’t ask. But don’t be too invasive. It’s not the first time I’m saying this, but I feel like it bears repeating yet again: let him set the pace and don’t overstep your boundaries. You’ve painted Katsuki as a very skittish person. I don’t know how true that is, but I don’t think you'll want to risk upsetting him further so be careful where you tread.

Second, don’t assume that he wants you to fix it. You’re a skater—old as you may be—and not a psychiatrist. I don’t remember Yakov being this hands-on with you. (Then again, if he was, I would’ve pulled you out, so it’s best that he wasn’t.) Maybe it’s something that’s been a problem for a very long time, maybe it’s something he has to work through himself. Just let him know you’re there for him and lend him a listening ear if he wants it.

Third, equivalent exchange. I’m proud of you for wanting to talk about this instead of sweeping it under a carpet with the rest of your problems. (When are you bringing somebody home for real, Vitya?). Offer him something if you want something from him. It doesn’t always work, but opening up first sets a precedent for the conversation you want to have with him.

Good luck.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, June 15, 2016 at 21:14  
Subject: Mama I fucked up

Mama you’re the best. What would I do without you?

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, June 15, 2016 at 21:15  
Subject: Mama I fucked up

I know. And you wouldn’t exist without me. Where (and who) do you think you came from?

Love,  
Mama

\---

Dear Mama,

Please don’t ever say that again. I don’t want to think about what had to happen so that I could be conceived and birthed.

Yuuri and I are on good terms again now. Thank you. He told me a lot today, things that I’m sure he hasn’t told anyone else. Is this what it means to be able to understand one’s skater? I like it—I like learning more about Yuuri. It really helps me to refine his programme to fit him better. I told him that I am the only one who can make him a programme that makes full use of his abilities, and I’m not backing down now that I see that he has so much more to give than I ever knew. He breathes life into his programmes, as you know, but his SP could still use some work because it was made for someone like me. He has a very different sort of appeal. It feels like drowning, sometimes, but the sort that you’d gladly let fill your lungs with water.

I offered to be his boyfriend today. I didn’t think he’d agree—and for the record he didn’t agree, in case you were worried—but his reason for rejecting me wasn’t what I had expected. I thought he would’ve just been too shy. Instead, he didn’t want me to be his boyfriend because wanted me to be _me_. He doesn’t want me to play a part for him. I’ve never had anybody tell me they want me as I am before. Even you nag me to fix how I manage my love life. (Thanks for that in your email, by the way. I really had no idea how much you and Papa and dedushka wanted me to settle down. It’s not like you talk about it in _every letter_.) Some people like it when I’m serious, other people like it when I’m “human,” but Yuuri wants both of that and he looked so sincere. I don’t know if he knows what he’s getting himself into, but I’m going to show him what he wants. It might help to strengthen our relationship as student and coach. Although I’m mildly worried that he’ll regret ever saying anything once he finds out how little I have to give, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I’m having him pick his free skate music so we’re starting from scratch with this one. I want this to be about him and him alone, unlike the SP which started out as something for me. Maybe this one will actually be about pork cutlet bowls! I’ve never choreographed a programme inspired by food before—I look forward to the challenge.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Did dedushka stab my pictures after those emails?

\---

Dear Vitya,

I’m glad you’re finally coming back to yourself. I barely recognised you as your father’s son in your last few letters; your brother was starting to feel lonely as the only Nikiforov of his generation. Speaking of your brother, he’s now engaged. Do come home sometime soon to meet his fiancée. She’s such a lovely person—I bet she wouldn’t mind taking your place as my child since we see you so rarely that you might as well be my fourth cousin once removed. Hopefully, your brother’s engagement will inspire some desire in you to stop fooling around so much. There’s nothing wrong with having multiple partners throughout your life, but you do seem very lonely whenever we visit you at your loft.

I noticed that you didn’t say whether you were _hoping_ if Katsuki would agree to let you be his boyfriend. What does this mean, I wonder? You talk about Katsuki a lot in your letters. In fact, I think you talk about him more than you talk about yourself. I’ve never seen you write about anybody like you write about him either, or become so self-aware that you want to improve on so many things not directly related to skating. I feel like you’ve grown so much as a person recently, and I’m so proud. Katsuki has been good for you. I’m not saying that I’m looking forward to meeting Katsuki specifically, but I _am_ looking forward to meeting somebody who’d put up with you and want all of you and cause you to swoon like a lovesick fool _and_ inspire you in both skating and self-improvement. What a coincidence that Katsuki meets all of these criteria. How unexpected. Would you look at that.

Bring him home, is what I’m saying, even if the two of you never get past awkward eye contact. If he’s participating in the Rostelecom Cup, we’ll go to meet you instead. I want to see for myself the man who’s sent you hurtling face first into more emotions in the last few months than you’ve experience in probably your entire life. Reading your recent letters was a very wild ride.

Your emails were even wilder. So wild, in fact, that your grandfather was too worried to throw darts at your pictures. I’m sure he’s more than willing to do that now that we know you’re all right.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this up last night but I fell asleep at the computer so I didn't get anything done... Anyway, I've been looking forward to writing this chapter. Mama has finally become Victuuri trash.
> 
> Side note: I actually wanted to call this fic "Bring Him Home" because the focus was originally on Victor's mother convincing him to, well, bring Yuuri home. But then it evolved into something with a bit more character exploration, so I settled for a more generic "Dear Mama."


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Mama,

I’m definitely balding, and Yuuri definitely noticed. Why does this have to be the one physical trait that I just had to inherit from Papa?

Regarding your last letter, we do _not_ have awkward eye contact. We have very comfortable eye contact and very comfortable skinship. Yuuri makes me really happy in a way I’ve never been before, so I’ll thank you not to reduce our relationship to the series of milestones that you and Papa took forever to get past. I don’t even know what the things I’m feeling are called, but I’m sure Yuuri isn’t ready for me to just straight up tell him about them. Things are fine the way they are. Aren’t you always telling me to let him take charge of our relationship? That’s exactly what I’m doing. There’s almost nothing of the Yuuri who single-handedly seduced an entire hall of seasoned skaters that I can see, and although that’s the Yuuri that first attracted my interest, I find myself liking the modest person I’m coming to know as well.

Besides, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Yuuri’s theme for this season is love. His FS music is basically an interpretation of his life and the love he’s found along the way, and guess what, Mama? He wrote _me_ into his story. I’ve only really stepped into his life a few months ago, but literally _half_ of the song is meant to represent the time since then. Am I getting ahead of myself if I think that this means that I’m that important to him? That I take up half of the heart that he’s usually so hesitant to give away?

I’m so happy that my hands are shaking. Not only does Yuuri want me as I am, he’s also decided that I’m worth setting aside half of his FS for.

Maybe you’ll get your wish after all, Mama. It’s still too early to say for certain, but think I want this for the rest of my life.

Anyway, give Sasha my condolences for finally being roped into marrying Katya. Did Katya propose with a diamond ring? I bet it was a 4 carat diamond—she seems like the type. And have you forgotten that we were classmates? I don’t think there’s any need for me to fly back for the sole purpose of meeting her again specifically in the capacity of her future brother-in-law. Tell Sasha that he’s very brave to marry her.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Yuuri’s FS music is in the CD attached. It’s gorgeous. To be able to choreograph to this music with Yuuri is such an honour. I need to send the girl who composed this a basket or two or ten.

\---

Dear Vitya,

Your brother does not appreciate the implication that his fiancée is anything less than perfect. I’m sure you can relate to this with Katsuki, seeing as your last letter was 80% gushing about him, 10% grudging congratulations to your brother, 10% low key convincing your brother to break off his engagement, and 0% anything about you.

Speaking of Katsuki, should I start referring to him as Yuuri now? It’s strange to think of my future son-in-law by his last name. (First name? Japanese family names come before their given names, right? Have you figured out how to negotiate surnames after you’re married or am I getting ahead of myself?) I’ve finally watched every last video on the Internet with Yuuri in it, and I have to say, Vitya, you really know how to pick the most inconsistent skater of them all. He has moments when he really shines, but he also crashes and burns quite spectacularly. For your sake, I hope that your relationship won’t be strained even if he doesn’t do as well as you expect him to.

After our last few correspondences, it feels strange not having to give you any advice. I’m actually half-hoping that you'll run into trouble again just so I have more to write. Now that I think about it, I’ve been writing nothing but advice recently, haven’t I? I feel like this says something about how badly your father and I have prepared you for the real world but I’d rather not look too deeply into that. Your brother came out fine after all, so maybe this is just an unfortunate case of an older child inheriting all the good genes and leaving the bad genes (including male pattern baldness from your father’s side of the family, apparently) for the younger child, and has nothing to do with how we raised you.

But don’t worry, we still love you. Not more than we love Makkachin, of course, but then again it is quite hard to love anybody more than we love Makkachin. Maybe Yuuri will finally be the first person to love you more than Makkachin. Hopefully you’ll soon be able to add him to your rather short list of people (and a dog) whom you’ve let see all of you but who’ve still decided to stay. I would encourage you to open up to more people, but if you’re anything like me you’d actually prefer to keep that list short because the world is full of disappointing people who aren’t worth either of our time.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. The music is lovelier than I expected considering the fact that half of it is about how you came into Yuuri's life with the force and grace of a hurricane, if your letters have been any indication at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His mother doesn't know how right she is when she says that Victor has let Yuuri see "all of" him... I can't believe we thought episode 1 was wild. Anyway, previous chapters were revised to fit the new canon that nobody saw coming. See first note of the story for details.
> 
> (Yes, I'm aware that's not how inheritance works. I would not be studying the major I am studying if I didn't.)
> 
> By the way, this might be shameless advertising but I combined the Japanese and English dubs. Episodes 1 and 2 can be found here: [[x](http://sidewayssleeping.tumblr.com/YoI-combined-dubs)]


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Mama,

It looks like you’ll be coming to Moscow after all—Yuuri’s been assigned to the Rostelecom Cup. Well, he has to first do well in a local competition to qualify because he did quite badly at nationals last season (11th! How is this even possible for somebody as brilliant as Yuuri?), but I have complete faith that this will not be a problem at all. After all, _I_ am his coach now. I can already see Yuuri adding a new gold medal to his collection. Our first of many together!

Speaking of firsts, Yuuri skated his FS cleanly for the first time today. I wish I’d caught it on camera because it was absolutely stunning, almost as beautiful as Yuuri himself. Afterwards, he let me hug him for the first time too. Have you ever wanted to be close to Papa so badly that a hug felt like the best thing to have ever happened to you? If just a hug feels so great, I wonder what it would be like when he finally trusts me enough to let me hold his hand or tell me about the “secret” stack of posters of me under his bed. Hopefully, he won’t mind too much if I burn it all up somewhere in the very near future. It’s very nice that he likes “all” of me, but not all of me is worth liking and I’d rather he forget about some of the more embarrassing photoshoots I’ve been in. I haven’t scrubbed those from my mind just for Yuuri to plaster them all over his walls.

It’s hard having to stop myself from touching him all the time, especially since he was clinging to me like a particularly intoxicated baby koala the last time I saw him before coming to Hasetsu. I arrived with the expectation that we would pick up where we left off, with both of us being affectionate to a fault. I didn’t think that I’d have to fight tooth and nail for him to stop panicking when I so much as put a hand on his shoulder the moment we’re out of the rink.

But it’s so rewarding, Mama. Every smile, every touch, and every word from Yuuri that isn’t directly related to his training is worth so much. I’ve never known that I could be this contented with life. Even the combined shine of all the medals I’ve won is dull in comparison to one of Yuuri’s smiles—I would sell them all in a heartbeat to stay with him. Is this the point where you diagnose me with being in love? There’s no need for that. I think it’s safe to say that self-diagnosis is rather reliable in this situation.

Mama, I’m in love with Katsuki Yuuri.

You’ll never be able to attend my wedding or look after tiny skating monsters because of this. _I’ll_ never be able to get married. But I find that I really can’t bring myself to care if Yuuri will let me stay by him. I don’t even really care if we never see each other undressed outside of a hot spring. I’m so far gone that I’d be happy if he would just hold my hand.

I still don’t really know what Yuuri wants me to be to him, but I wouldn’t complain even if nothing changes.

Love,  
Victor

\---

Dear Vitya,

Congratulations on finally choosing one of 7 billion people on this planet to spend the rest of your life with! Even though we all saw this coming, I think we opened more bottles of champagne in celebration than we did when your brother got engaged. I read your letter out to your grandfather (after taking an hour or two to reread it and confirm that my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me), and his way of showing his happiness for you was so bizarre I thought he was summoning a demon instead. Needless to say, I’m melting down every knife and scissor in the house and buying plastic ones instead. Nobody summons demons with plastic knives, right?

As much as you love Yuuri, I don’t think bragging about him is the way to win him over. Not everybody gets a thrill out of setting ridiculously high expectations of themselves, you know. I know you tend to forget that other people exist, but for somebody who should be more than aware of Yuuri’s inconsistency and mental fragility, this seems like a massive faux pas. I have never seen Yuuri make claims about winning before a competition has even started. You would do well to learn some humility from Yuuri before you start boldly proclaiming to the press things that put too much pressure on him.

I would also wait to declare that you being his coach is a sufficient condition for a gold medal. The amount of confidence you have in yourself is staggering sometimes, and potentially highly misplaced given that this is, after all, your first time coaching anybody. How can you be so certain that you can lead Yuuri to gold? Not that, of course, I’m doubting my future son-in-law. (I will single-handedly rewrite Russian law to see you finally married so that I will never have to suffer your grandfather nagging me to find you a “nice young thing” again.)

When you talked about firsts, _my_ first thought before reading on was that Yuuri had finally fallen on his head and agreed to sleep with you. I am actually surprised that you’ve never managed to sneak a hug from Yuuri before. Oh, Vitya, how far you’ve fallen. Just six months ago you’d have anybody eating from your hands in a heartbeat, yet here you are very slowly selling your soul to a baby-faced man you hadn’t even known existed a year ago. Didn’t you say that you have “comfortable skinship” in your last letter? In light of new information regarding Yuuri’s unwillingness to hug you, I feel like your understanding of “comfortable” and “skinship” needs to be re-evaluated.

You’re doing a great job of respecting Yuuri’s boundaries, though, and I’m glad that you’ve decided to heed this advice at least even if you’ve disregarded about 99% of all the advice I’ve ever given to you. I’ve noticed that you’re much less likely to treat my words like used toilet paper when it comes to Yuuri. Should I be relieved that you’ve finally learned to listen to the voice of reason or despair that it’s taken you 27 years to get to this point?

Now that I can add “domesticated a man with more ego than can fit into the Iceberg Skating Palace” to Yuuri’s list of credentials, I'm really looking forward to finally meeting him at the Rostelecom Cup. We’ll see the both of you there. In the meantime, I’ll try to ensure that your grandfather finds better ways of expressing his happiness than pseudo-demon summoning so we won’t be forcibly removed from the arena before the Zamboni has even been taken out of storage.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to have these letters be vaguely regularly written (according to in-universe timeline anyway) has proven to be very, very difficult given that YoI has a lot of rather large time skips, where nothing much happens for a couple of months and then people suddenly get proposed to and engaged within the span of a month (and hopefully also win GPF gold and pair skate with the love of their life to said love of their life's FS music from the previous season). There's a lot of stuff I wanted to address in this chapter (Victor's potential retirement, Yuuri potentially deciding to skate to Stammi Vicino for galas) but none of these will be confirmed until episode 12 at least so...well. Please have Victor realising he's in love instead.


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Mama,

Yuuri has decided to skate to Stammi Vicino for his exhibition programme at the Grand Prix series! That's _my_ FS from last season, in case you've developed a sudden inability to recall your favourite son's illustrious career that culminated in 5 consecutive GPF golds and too many Worlds medals to count. He's changed my quad flip to a triple, and substituted out some other jumps for step sequences (which I honestly cannot fault him for because his footwork is spellbinding, and he’s not skating this for points anyway), but WOW. It really plays up his strengths now. I didn’t think he could skate my FS any better than he did in that video, but I was so wrong. Mama, have you ever seen a man so beautiful that all you want to do is get on your knees and thank whatever higher powers that may or may not exist and may or may not be responsible for letting you so much as lay eyes on such a marvellous creature?

He says he has something special planned if he makes it to the GPF, to which I said, “When, not if.” If he made it there on his own last season, I have no doubts that he can do it again this season, especially with me as his coach. (Mama, please make up your mind. Do you or do you not think that I am a good coach? On one hand, you’ve said that Yakov is an idiot for doubting me, yet on the other hand _you_ tell me that I’m getting ahead of myself.) He told me to keep myself in shape for it. I have absolutely no idea what Yuuri is up to, but I think it’s safe to say that he will surprise me as he has always done.

And while we’re on the topic of surprises, Yuuri hugged me today, then proceeded to hold my hand all the way back home. I’m not sure what brought it on but I’m honestly too afraid to ask in case he revokes my hand-holding privileges out of sheer embarrassment. We actually talked about the weather while walking. I don’t think you understand how absurd this is, Mama, so I’ll repeat it again. _The weather_. Specifically seasonal droughts and how they affect Yu-topia Katsuki’s business. And it was _interesting_. Yuuri manages to make everything interesting.

Mama, I’ll give you a moment to appreciate just how far gone for Yuuri I am that I would gladly discuss droughts all day as long as it’s Yuuri I’m discussing it with.

 

 

(The _weather_. Of all topics to talk about with one’s idol-turned-coach, Yuuri had to choose _the_ _weather_. He should’ve at least praised how clean my quads are, but nooo, he decided to talk to me about wilting crops and stones hot enough to fry eggs.)

 

 

 

Have you had your moment? I took a moment myself to wonder how I got here. I never once thought that I’d ever find somebody who could make me yearn for mundane things. All my life I imagined that anybody I would willingly spend the rest of my life with would make it their mission to excite me, not bore me to death. Do you think Yuuri knows the kind of power he holds over me? I want him to. He needs to realise that he has more influence over the people around him than he thinks—sometimes, he gets so caught up in his worries and anxieties that he forgets that his reticence hurts the people he loves, and his joy lights glowing fires in their chests.

Love,  
Victor

\---

Dear Vitya,

Should I be insulted that it’s taken you less than 5 months to forget about your loving family here in St. Petersburg and start calling Yuuri’s family inn your home? Yuuri hasn’t even kissed you yet. In fact, I think the intimacy that you share with Yuuri is about on par with your father and me on our first date. To think that you’ve lived under the same roof for nearly 5 months and have yet to set foot into his room. I’m really liking what Yuuri has done to you and for you.

Although I have never actually seen a man so beautiful that only melodramatically prostrating myself before gods that probably don’t exist can sufficiently express his beauty, I have seen Yuuri’s pictures and I approve of his face. I can only imagine that _you_ approve of his _body_. In a strictly professional, coach-student capacity, of course, since you are _clearly_ the epitome of professionalism.

Regardless of how well you know your skater’s body, I do believe that you have what it takes to be an effective coach. After all, we do have an entire room (in a house that is apparently no longer your home) full of golden trophies and medals (including, yes, 5 consecutive GPF golds and too many Worlds medals to count) testifying to your technical prowess. No, what I’m more concerned about is your ability to handle people. You’ve been lucky with Yuuri so far, but it won’t last forever. I know you, Vitya. You can’t go a month without driving somebody absolutely crazy in a way that leaves them with homicidal urges (as opposed to other urges, which I’m sure you inspire on a daily basis with the face I’ve given you), and you’re five months overdue. I would tell you not to do something stupid, but you’ve always either ignored me or had a very different definition of “stupid.” I can’t tell which these days, and sometimes I even think that it’s combination of both.

I have an idea of what I think he might mean by “something special,” but, from what you’ve told me about Yuuri and how he can barely stand to touch you with a ten foot pole, I think I’m getting ahead of myself. For your sake, I hope I’m as wrong about this as I was about your inability to remain interested in one person for a length of time exceeding a junior short programme. Please, by all means, show (or rather, tell, since talking things out seems to work better with him) this person how much he affects you precisely because you love him so much. I feel like he needs to hear that a lot more than he does.

You know, your father and I talk about the weather all the time. Once you’ve known somebody for as long as we have, the only things left to talk about are the things that change on a day-to-day basis—namely, the weather and your latest fling (the latter of which has thankfully been replaced with your relationship with Yuuri since you went to Japan). How is it that you are simultaneously at the first date phase and the old married couple phase? Tell me your secret so I may return to the time when your father was more romantic than dirty coffee mugs left unwashed in the sink.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm skipping forward to the Chuugoku, Shikoku, Kyuushuu Championships in the next chapter because I realised that if I kept trying to write these letters at regular in-universe intervals, it'll be something like chapter 12 when I finally cover episode 5. Even I'm impatient, what more you all.
> 
> Edit: since people seem to like Victor and Yuuri doing nothing but being sweet to each other in Hasetsu, I will do my best to write and extra chapter featuring more of this before Monday, when you'll get the chapter I was originally planning to write.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Mama's letter ended up way longer than expected. Um. Enjoy?
> 
> (I accidentally published this earlier before I was done with proofreading, so, uh, yeah. Your mind wasn't playing tricks on you if you thought you'd seen it earlier.)

Dear Mama,

The thing about Yuuri is that he doesn’t let himself realise how much people love him.

I recently walked in on Yuuri Skyping with Phichit (Thai skater, used to train in Detroit with Yuuri, will also be competing in the Cup of China alongside Yuuri). Yuuri told me that Phichit was his best friend. When I pretended to be outraged and demanded to know why _I_ wasn’t his best friend after all these months of training and eating and living together, Yuuri had the gall to blink and ask like he was genuinely confused, “Why would you want to be _my_ best friend?”

What kind of question is that? Of course I want to be his best friend! It has to be him! Who else would I want for a best friend? Jora? Not even if the world suddenly vanished beneath my feet and took every other person with it. We'd be trying to outdo each other's histrionics on our deathbed.

I have spent every waking moment trying to show Yuuri how much I cherish him, how much I care for the person I’ve found behind the half-naked drunk from the last GPF, and he thanks me by asking me _that_. How can he say that right after hugging me and holding my hand? If I had so much as suspected that this was because he wanted something else from me, some other sort of relationship that I am very keen on having with him as well, then I wouldn’t have pursued the matter. But he looked so surprised, like he couldn’t believe that I would even want him in any capacity.

So I did what I had to and commandeered Yuuri’s phone and started singing Yuuri’s praises to Phichit, whom I am delighted to report agreed with me wholeheartedly (after a mini heart attack in which he whispered my name reverently like Yuuri hadn't told him all about how I'm the best coach in the world) and even contributed his half of the Non-Exhaustive List of Reasons Why Yuuri is the Best Person Ever. I think I’ve found my platonic soulmate in Phichit Chulanont. This boy _understands_.

I’ll write a proper letter later. For now, I just need to vent. I used to think that there wasn’t any part of Yuuri that I could ever bring myself to hate, but I’m seriously reconsidering that now. Yuuri can do with a lot less doubt in our relationship, whatever our relationship is to him.

I didn’t think that love is supposed to hurt this badly.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, August 28, 2016 at 08:59  
Subject: DO NOT INTERACT WITH YUURI BEFORE READING THIS

I woke up today thinking that I would have a relaxing Sunday (not that any day is relaxing when your father-in-law is in the habit of banging pots and pans to chase away songbirds) when I got your letter in the mail and thought better than to leave you to your own devices. I understand that you probably needed my expert input approximately 11 days ago when you sent your letter (we should really switch to emails if it takes longer than one of your father’s boring maths lectures to get a letter to me, and twice that to get letters to _and_ from me), but let me just give you some advice that you shouldn’t but probably will ignore anyway. If I know you, you’ve probably been silently stewing over this ever since that Skype session with Chulanont.

First, I want you to stay away from anything sharp. That includes your own tongue, if you can help it. This means no skating today—don’t put on your skates, and if Yuuri absolutely must get on the ice please stay at least half a rink away from him. I don’t want you to suddenly forget what you’re doing because you’re too busy being upset and end up cutting yourself or Yuuri or Makkachin.

Second, if Yuuri can afford to take some time off today, sit him down and make small talk. Don’t try too hard to talk about important things. You are chronically bad at being serious when it matters sometimes, and I wouldn’t want you to risk saying something stupid (again) while you’re trying to make him feel important. Show him that you care by making time for him. Massage his feet if you must—I’m sure they look as hideous as your own. Yuuri is a dog person, isn’t he? He must be if he lets Makkachin sleep with him and take up half of his bed. Buy cute plasters with dogs on them. He’ll think of you when he sees them after taking off his skates.

Third, ideally, love shouldn’t hurt. Unfortunately, nothing about this world is ideal and if you really love Yuuri you’ll have to learn to accept his insecurities. I’m not saying that you have to like them, but you will have to learn to deal with them. Comfort him, reassure him, and, when he’s being particularly stubborn and words don’t work anymore, just hold him until he realises that you’d even forgo skating in order to hug him to death because of course hugging him and making him feel cherished is more important than a sport that ruins your body regardless of how much you love it.

Fourth, never forget that you love him. Don’t let him convince you that he’s more trouble than he’s worth. I don’t know him personally, but he probably wants to leave you as much as you want to leave him—which is to say, not at all. It’s his insecurity talking. Listen to his concerns, don’t dismiss them, but also don’t be blindly hurt by them. (If, instead, you don’t actually love him despite exhibiting all the symptoms of being hopelessly in love, please end this now before you hurt him. You may be many things, but I did not raise a cruel child.)

Fifth, if you’re comfortable, tell him that you love him. Don’t do it in a roundabout way, don’t just imply it, don’t hide behind metaphors. Sometimes, people just need to hear those words. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience. Your father thought we were dating for half a year before I finally realised that bad maths puns were his way of telling me he loved me and that I had inadvertently agreed to date him six months ago by laughing at one of his terrible jokes. It doesn’t have to be romantic, by the way. Just assure him that he means a lot to you.

Sixth, find out where Yuuri thinks your relationship is and work with him from there. Even if you never put a label on it, at least ensure that you know what to expect from each other so you don’t accidentally do something to make him think that you hate him.

I want to read about the two of you being cute, not you being depressed. I’d threaten to never write back if you don’t fix whatever your problem is, but I fear that means that you’ll never get a letter from me again because you seem to have an endless supply of problems. I swear, every time you solve one of them another just appears out of thin air. Are you deliberately making life hard for yourself?

Let me set an example for my fifth point: Vitya, I love you.

Let me now set an example for my sixth point: despite everything, despite your obliviousness and your selfishness and your frustrating lack of impulse control, I know you love him. (I’m sorry if it seemed like I doubted you when I made my fourth point.) At some point, you will have to learn how to manage your relationships yourself because, if Yuuri ever gets to the point where he agrees to date you, I don’t want him to be half dating me too.

This is my expectation: eventually, I want you to be fully responsible for whatever the thing between the two of you is. You will talk to him, and I will wean you off my advice the same way I weaned you off breast milk and your teenage obsession with the colour black. Once you’re sure that 90% of your interactions with Yuuri isn’t in some way coloured by my involvement, you may have my blessings to put a ring on him. (If he will let you, that is.)

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that it takes about 11 days to get letters from Kyuushuu to Russia? I didn't. That's about 22 days to and from Hasetsu. Now it feels like these letters are moving too quickly lmao. I went back and changed the dates of emails in chapter 5, but it still assumes very speedy delivery. I might write another chapter set before episode 5 (this one will probably be out on Monday, sorry) because I promised fluffy slice of life and delivered mild angst and reproachful Mama instead, so I'd like to make up for it with an extra fluffy chapter. I'll see if I can rush the chapter after that one so we can get back on schedule haha.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...this chapter ended up longer than the last, which I already thought was far too long... Enjoy Victor being in love.

Dear Mama,

As Yuuri’s coach, I’ve been on the ice with him a lot. I’ve skated side by side with him to both of his programmes, shown him how to consistently land a quad Salchow (and quad flip and quad loop…basically all the quads in my repertoire), and sometimes just stood there looking pretty while shouting corrections. But can you believe that we’ve never skated together before today? Can you believe that it’s never occurred to me that I could just hold his hand in mine and skate the same way I walk home with him?

Today, after practice, he took my hand—this is never going to get old—right before we got off the ice. I asked him if he needed me for something and he said, “I don’t know what you are, but you’re my most important person.” How do I respond to that, especially when it came from absolutely nowhere?

Because you’ve reminded me so often that I’m a verbal disaster even in Russian, what more English, I decided to show him instead. Yuuri really is very wonderful to hug. Of course, pretty much every single part of him was drenched in sweat because I’m nothing if not a demanding coach, and his hair was stringy and stuck to his face and in a horrendous mess that I will have to slowly smooth the knots out of later, but love is a marvellous thing. It should really have been quite disgusting—I wouldn’t even hug myself after practice—and maybe it was, but I think I’m physically incapable of thinking of Yuuri as anything less than god’s gift to mankind. Specifically, god’s gift to _me_.

Anyway, instead of just standing there and letting me hug every last bit of air out of him, he started moving backward into the middle of the rink, dragging me along with him (he’s so strong, Mama—his thighs are to kill for), and before I knew it we were making figure eights.

I was holding Yuuri and skating at the same time.

It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest when I realised that my two favourite things had combined into one. Why hadn’t I ever thought of doing this before?

Yuuri’s face was probably bright red, but he wouldn’t let me see him so I’ll never know. On the upside, he hid himself by stubbornly keeping his face glued to my neck the entire time we were skating, so I can’t say I’m mad about it. He never usually lets me get this close for this long. I think I spent half of my brainpower trying to commit this to memory and the other half trying not to fall because I was too distracted by being so close to Yuuri.

I didn’t succeed in not falling, by the way. We were tripping over each other’s skates so much that we actually fell over. I’d like to say that it happened gracefully, that it was planned and that I held his head in my hand to cushion him as we fell, but the truth is that I was shoved quite unceremoniously onto the ice when Yuuri’s elbow suddenly dug into my side. I can hear you warning me that falling on my geriatric back will shatter it into a million tiny pieces, but if Yuuri’s on top of me I honestly couldn’t care less. I’m not competing in this season anyway, so I can afford a couple of bruises for more moments like this.

Yuuri panicked, of course, and wouldn’t stop apologising. What I would’ve given to shut him up with a kiss, but I don’t think he’s ready for that. Surprisingly, I’m actually okay even if he _never_ becomes ready for that. I find myself thinking, all the time, that this is good. What we have is good. And then Yuuri goes and surprises me and it’s like my world shifts again and I settle happily into a new definition of good, certain that nothing will ever be better that this. He always eventually proves me wrong in the best way, so I don’t know why I’m always so contented with every new equilibrium, but I am.

We managed to get up without falling again and spent the next hour or so just holding hands and talking and gazing into each other’s eyes the way those couples do in Papa’s trashy romance novels, all the while trying to awaken any dormant ESP we may have so we could avoid slamming into the walls without having to look away.

(We slammed into the wall a couple of times. My hips ache in very not-fun ways.)

At some point, we ended up recreating my FS from last season. It’s Yuuri’s favourite, and I can see why—it brought me to Hasetsu and to him, after all. If I had to pick a favourite programme from my competitive skating career, it would be that too. I skated a plea that I didn’t think anyone would hear, and Yuuri answered, and I couldn’t have asked for a better reply. Together, we skated the version we adapted for Yuuri’s exhibition programme because my FS has far too many jumps that are impossible while holding hands. It was a bit awkward, I’ll admit, not least because our fingers were hopelessly tangled together, but can you blame us? I’ve never felt this way before, and I’m quite certain that he hasn’t either. We’re so new at sharing the ice this way but I love it. I love it so much. I haven’t felt this happy skating in such a long time.

Why does the ISU only sanction male-female ice dancing pairs, Mama? That’s ridiculous. One day, I’ll work my way into their ranks and change the rules. Until then, I will content with being clumsily spun around by a man who would probably be crushed under the weight of my heart if he ever lets me properly give it to him.

Mama, I love him so much.

I won’t say that I was empty before Yuuri because skating has given me a lot, but I never realised how much I was missing out on until I found him. Every time I think that he can’t make me love him any more than I already do, he does things like make me ice dance with him (albeit very badly) and I’m in freefall again. I hope it’s the same for him too. I hope we never reach the ground.

Love,  
Victor

\---

Dear Vitya,

Wow. When I said that I wanted to read about you two being cute, I didn’t mean for you to write a thesis on how easy it is to fall in love with Katsuki Yuuri and how stupid you are to risk putting your back out of commission just to stumble on ice with him for an hour. Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed by your commitment to both Yuuri and the ice, but I really do think you’re too old for fooling around. Honestly, watch that back of yours. Your laybacks haven’t been the same since you sprained it nearly 5 years ago, and if you sprain it again you can kiss returning to competitive skating goodbye.

Speaking of which, is that still the plan? Are you still thinking of returning? I think it’s fairly clear which decision I prefer (hint: it's the one that doesn’t break all the bones in your body), but I do want to know what _you_ intend to do after this season. We need to get started on planning how to explain all of this to Yuuri if you're returning. Lord knows I can’t trust you to do that without messing up. I would at least try to trust you with other things, but this will be too important a turning point in your relationship for me to wash my hands off completely, at least until I'm sure you won't scare Yuuri away.

You know, when you said “show him,” I feared for a moment that you had done something unspeakable to him and that I would be compensating for trauma suffered by the rink staff for the rest of my life. I’m glad I was wrong. I don’t think that this needs saying, but I’d like to tell you that I completely approve of how you dealt with the situation anyway. Well done, Vitya.

You can’t see me right now so you’ll have to take my word for it when I say that I’m crying (and so is your grandfather, actually, but you’ll have to excuse me if I fail to take pictures of that because I’m too busy exiling him from the kitchen where 100% of sharp objects in the house reside) because I’m so proud that you’ve done something so beautifully right for once without external assistance (i.e. me). This a very emotional moment for me. It feels like I’m sending my son off to university again, except you’ve never been to university and I sent you off to Yakov when you were no higher than my shoulder.

I still have pictures. You were sobbing and it was really ugly. Don’t get me wrong, I was the proudest mother in Russia (thank you for that ‘#1 ~~Dad~~ Mum’ trophy, by the way—we polish it every year), but it doesn’t change the fact that you had a truly hideously splotchy crying face when you were eleven.

Vitya, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that last season’s FS was a plea was obvious to literally everybody, even your father. Anybody could see that Stammi Vicino was you broadcasting SOS on all frequencies to the universe at large. As usual, subtlety is not your strong suit. There were fans lining up outside our house the day after you first skated it in competition, so you must understand if I fail to believe that you were shouting “stay close to me” into the void and nothing but the void. No, the problem was that your receiver couldn’t pick up anybody else’s frequencies, just Yuuri’s, small as his voice was.

And I’m glad it happened like that, Viten’ka. You’re so much happier now.

Until your next freak out, that is, but I’m sure we’ll have time before that.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was determined for this fic to be canon-compliant even though episode 12 felt so _off_ to me because that was the plan from the beginning. But after reading [this amazing meta](http://caramelcheese.tumblr.com/post/155271618413/why-i-feel-that-yoi-betrayed-its-own-narrative) about why Victuuri in episode 12 was so disconnected from the rest of the series, I can't help but feel that Victor and Yuuri deserve so much better. A lot of the problems pointed out by the meta can also be fixed by the advice Mama has already given, so I'm torn between writing a better ending for Victuuri and sticking with canon. Let me know what you think.


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Mama,

If you think I’m bad with people, just wait till you see Yuuri with one of his fans. He acted like the poor kid didn’t even exist at all! I’d say he got that from me (the same way he got “ignoring coach’s advice”), but at least I tried to be nice to Yuuri even when I didn’t recognise him as a competitor. (Can you blame me, though? He looked so different without his glasses and with his hair slicked back, and his presence on ice was just _magnificent_ even when he was failing every single jump. It’s so at odds with how quiet he seemed afterwards. I don’t think he’s ever messed up his step sequences either in the time I’ve known him, which is frankly phenomenal since they’re the most complicated part of any programme.)

It’s really nice to know that Yuuri has fans that are so vocal. He’s so unassuming that even I sometimes forget that he’s Japan’s best skater until I see him take to the ice, at which point I wish I could turn back time and yell at myself for not recognising Yuuri at last season’s GPF. How could I have been so blind? He’s the best thing to have ever happened to me. How much more time would we have had to get to know each other if I hadn’t been such a self-absorbed idiot who didn’t even know his own competitors? We must have been assigned to the same events before. Why hadn’t I noticed him sooner?

But I digress. Back to the fan whose name I actually remember for once. He’s the first of Yuuri’s that I’ve met, after all—that in itself is very memorable. Minami Kenjirou. I don’t think that Yuuri is aware of his influence on younger Japanese skaters, given his tendency to use really unimpressive adjectives when talking about himself and his skating career. “Dime a dozen” indeed. I could count on one hand the number of Japanese skaters who have made it to the GPF in all the time I’ve been skating competitively. He is anything but ordinary, and if even a fan who looks at Yuuri with stars in his eyes while loudly declaring that he’s looked up to Yuuri all his life can’t convince him of that, I don’t know if I can.

Yuuri deserves to know how loved he is. Maybe he does, on a purely intellectual level, but I don’t think he believes it. He doubts his worth so much it’s painful to watch. Can you believe that he’s still using that pork cutlet bowl metaphor to get into the right frame of mind for Eros even after I’ve told him quite explicitly to seduce _me_?

…how did I end up talking about Yuuri yet again?

The point is, Yuuri has fans. He has more fans than he knows—I looked up fansites and forums dedicated to Yuuri, and there are _a lot_. Pages and pages of search results that Yuuri’s never told me about, all about Yuuri. I’ve actually stumbled upon a thread that’s nothing but exclamations about Yuuri’s adorable poodle, which I have so far refrained from bringing up around Yuuri because the poor thing seems to have something to do with how badly Yuuri performed at the last GPF. I may be tactless, Mama, but I’m not _that_ tactless. I don’t want to dredge up bad memories.

(If I decided to add my two cents about Yuuri’s gorgeous skating on one or two or ten forum threads, it’s not anything that I wouldn’t proudly tell Yuuri about, except I fear that Yuuri might turn permanently red and that would clash quite horrifically with his costumes. Red, blue, and green all together? Tragic.)

Do you think Minami has as many posters of Yuuri on his wall as Yuuri used to have of me? Yuuri’s sister Mari told me about them over breakfast when I let Yuuri sleep in on a Sunday. He has quite the collection! A lot of limited edition posters, apparently, although none of them are signed (something I plan to rectify soon). If Minami’s collection is anywhere close to Yuuri’s, I have a lot of catching up to do! It’s a good thing that Mari’s been secretly collecting posters of Yuuri as well just to embarrass him with them every once in a while. She’s charging me an arm and a leg for each one, but I have deep pockets and it’s been too long since I spent them on anybody but myself.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. I don’t know if I want to go back to what things were like before Yuuri came into my life. I don’t know if I _can_. Skating has been everything to me for more than 20 years—it’s been fun, but I’ve been so lonely and I didn’t even know it. At this point, I’m ready to love something else. I think I already do _._

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, September 30, 2016 at 13:55  
Subject: Marry him

I haven’t received your latest letter. I assume that you wrote one, and I further assume that it’s on its way, but I couldn’t care less at the moment.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE TRANSLATION OF YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND’S PRESS CONFERENCE? Specifically the part where he declared his theme and then proceeded to spend the next minute talking about how special you are and nothing but?

I need you to marry this boy now. I don’t think you’ll ever find somebody else who would let you mean this much to them. You and I have both waited long enough.

You better have spent at least a few hours alone with Yuuri telling him how very, _very_ mutual his feelings are.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, September 30, 2016 at 14:11  
Subject: Marry him

I had every intention of doing that even before your email. I am, in fact, doing exactly that right now, which is precisely why I will ignore further emails from you because, no offence, but Yuuri is much more fascinating.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, September 30, 2016 at 14:16  
Subject: Marry him

Don’t let me stop you.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, September 30, 2016 at 14:30  
Subject: Marry him

I told him that I love him. He didn’t respond.

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, September 30, 2016 at 14:33  
Subject: Marry him

Vitya, did you say that in Russian.

Love,  
Your extremely exasperated mother

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, September 30, 2016 at 14:35  
Subject: Marry him

Oh.

Will be busy, don’t respond,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, September 30, 2016 at 14:38  
Subject: Marry him

I’m glad your sex life is healthier than your mental faculties.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, October 1, 2016 at 22:21  
Subject: Marry him

Can I trust you to believe me if I tell you that we just talked the whole night while I tried to cuddle Yuuri to within an inch of his life?

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, October 1, 2016 at 22:32  
Subject: Marry him

I would like to say no but the fact is that I believed that completely because you are absolutely gone for Yuuri. Just half a year ago I would have called your bluff, but I think I prefer things the way they are now.

Love,  
Mama

\---

Dear Vitya,

I thought your last letter deserved a proper reply, however short this may be because you were literally repeating the same things over and over again (namely, “Yuuri is my favourite person ever” and “everyone sees how great Yuuri is but himself”) without really making any new points. It was very sweet, much sweeter than I take my tea, so that’s saying something.

Thank you for confirming your intentions to remain with Yuuri for the rest of your life. It was heart-warming—it really was. In a way that left me needing five glasses of ice water just to stop myself from bursting into flames from how embarrassing you are, but my point stands. If you need me to special order any merchandise that can only be found in Russia, I am always here for you.

I’m glad you’ve found something else to love, something that will love you back the same way you loved it. Skating was good enough for a long time, and I’m sure you will never be able to bring yourself to regret it, but recently it looks like you’ve got weights tied to your feet. I haven’t seen you skate since you went to Hasetsu, but I can imagine that you’re much lighter now. All those medals, all those expectations, I expect that they just fall away when you’re with Yuuri. I’m so happy for you. You deserve this.

Yuuri’s skating looks much less restrained, too, so I won’t let you tell me that your relationship is entirely one-sided. You may have received so much from Yuuri, but you’ve given him just as much. Someday, you’ll be able to look back on your first meeting and laugh at how stupid you were, but today is not the day. Your regret will make you a better person. It already has, at least in the way you handle Yuuri’s emotions with so much care. To be quite honest, though, I don’t think it was very hard to improve from where you were, because you had nowhere to go but up. Better late than never.

For once, I think I’ll let you deal with something yourself. You’re more than sufficiently suited to build up Yuuri’s self-worth. Just continue what you’re doing, and I’m sure he’ll get used to people thinking that the planets and stars orbit him. You can’t do much about how he sees himself—you can try, of course, but that’s something that Yuuri has to fix himself—but you can at least provide him with the right sort of environment, and you’re doing a marvellous job right now so don’t stop.

In fact, never stop. You’re in a good place right now. I’m sure you’ll make mistakes in the future (I’m still waiting for you to drive somebody insane—it’s been six months) but right now I can’t imagine you screwing up so badly that Yuuri would give up on you. You’ve got a good thing going with him. I probably don’t need to tell you this, but I’ll say it anyway: keep him, if he will let himself be kept, and from what I've seen, he will.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! We've reached episode 5. OTL Anyway, I've decided to take a "wait and see" approach to episodes 11 and 12. There's a good chance I'll go down the canon-compliant route, but with enough added scenes that it'll maybe make it feel less upsetting, but we'll see.


	12. Chapter 12

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, October 14, 2016 at 07:11  
Subject: ???

Yuuri’s been sending me videos of ice dances. What does this mean? Is he switching disciplines because I’m a bad coach?

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, October 14, 2016 at 07:13  
Subject: ???

Go to sleep, Vitya.

Love,  
Your sleep-deprived mother

\---

Dear Mama,

Yuuri wants me to skate with him for his exhibition skate at the GPF. Together. We’re actually going to try and pull off lifts despite our inability to skate in a straight line when on the ice together just a few weeks ago.

This is such a bad idea, Mama. I mean, I said yes anyway, of course, because Yuuri asked and I can’t ever deny him anything, but this is a horrible idea, the worst idea Yuuri’s ever had (and he’s had some very questionable ideas regarding his self-worth, so you know that this is bad). What if he drops me? What if I drop _him_? What if I break his back and he can’t ever skate again? What was I thinking when I agreed to this? Actually, I can hear you saying that I wasn’t thinking at all (and you’ll probably follow up by saying that I’ve likely never had a thought in my entire life, which I’ll find extremely insulting because you have to at least give me credit for deciding to come to Hasetsu, where I found the love of my life), and I agree with you on that. I wasn’t. Sometimes just looking at Yuuri is enough to wipe every single thought from my mind, what more him asking me to ice dance with him at the GPF.

Wow. First of all, it's progress that Yuuri has finally accepted his qualification for the GPF as almost a given. Secondly, has this ever been done before? Skating with another person for the gala when you're not an ice dancer? Thirdly, just, wow.

I’m finally going to ice dance after that one disastrous attempt where Yakov made me try to synchronise my steps with some girl nearly 15 years ago. I ended up nearly cutting her fingers off, if you remember, and he made me swear never to try to skate with a partner ever again.

…I’m actually really worried now. I would be so much more careful with Yuuri, of course, because I’d rather he skate over my hands than so much as bruise his little toe, but you know how I get sometimes, right? I forget about people because people are so much more complicated than the ice. But I’ll try for Yuuri. We can’t be that bad if we already have good musicality and excellent command of the ice as skaters. It’s unlikely that we’ll meet with any disaster so long as we don’t try to be too ambitious with lifts, but it can’t hurt to be too cautious. Even if where I am isn't good enough to keep him safe, I can change. I'll do and become anything for him.

Maybe Yuuri should be the one doing the lifting. This way, I can’t crack his head open if I drop him because I _can’t_ drop him if _I’m_ the one being lifted. We’ll have to build up his arm strength, of course, since Yuuri looks like he could probably be blown over just by whispering in his ear when he’s not stress eating his mother’s delicious pork cutlet bowls. His core and leg strength is very impressive for his size, as Minako can testify after having him do 32 consecutive fouetté turns en pointe. Which I didn’t even know men were allowed to do. Didn’t Lilia tell me that as a boy I wasn’t allowed pointe shoes because I’d look like a chunky bulldozer on stilts? What a liar. Yuuri looks absolutely breath-taking.

Anyway, the ice dance is only for the GPF, and that’s only if we actually manage not to slice each other’s throats, so don’t go around leaking it to the paparazzi. Don’t even tell dedushka. I don’t care if he threatens to rip all of my photos to shreds—he’s the biggest gossip I know.

Love,  
Victor

\---

Dear Vitya,

I will do my best to keep your secret from your grandfather, but I make no promises because he is very skilled with darts and I would like to have my face remain the way it is.

It feels like a privilege to finally be able to worry if you’ll get your heart broken by someone. For so long, you’ve never been invested enough in any relationship for it to ruin you the way you ruin everybody else—I’m actually quite excited to be worried about _you_ for once. Look at you now, concerned about somebody else’s safety! Of course, it’s uncomfortable and gives me trouble sleeping since you are my son after all (and I never want your heart broken no matter how impervious to love you may have once claimed to be), but a larger part of me has decided that if Yuuri has put up with your frivolities and melodrama for so long, he surely will not leave you when you finally start acting your age and drop the whole sparkly prince thing you’ve been cultivating for 20 years.

Isn’t it tiring, Vitya, to still be trying to be perfect even though you’re with somebody whom you never want to hide yourself from? You can’t help that you want him to see only the best of you, of course, but I think I can make a pretty good argument that the parts of you that Yuuri wants to see, to hold and cherish, the parts _he_ thinks are the best, are the ugliest parts. Because those are the things you’ll never show to anybody else.

They’re things he can delight in, if not because they’re charming then because they’re things about you that are just for him. Your father likes it, you know, when I’m halfway through taking off my makeup. He says it’s because it makes him feel special that I let him see me at what I deem my ugliest. Part of me is offended that he thinks that _I_ think that there’s anything about me that’s ugly, but the other part is too busy being stupidly in love with your ridiculously sappy father to care. I would like you to have the same kind of casual acceptance that I have with him. You won’t have it if you never let go of trying to be perfect, so just stop trying, once and for all.

Let him love your clingy, jealous, unreasonable self. After all, if you marry him, he’ll eventually get the full Nikiforov experience anyway, so you might as well save yourself the pain of always trying to be so princely. He sure as hell didn’t fall for you when you were winking at him like you had a twitch in your eye. In fact, I think he might’ve been a little more in love with walking home with you—talking about droughts and the family business, no less—than watching you make a show of being perfectly desirable.

He said he wanted you to be yourself, didn’t he? You’ve started showing him your selfishness and your stubbornness and your disgustingly-in-love-ness, and he’s still here. You’ve been trying to be you, but you’ve also been trying to be good for him. But maybe what he wants and needs isn’t what you think it is. Maybe you’re best for him as yourself. Apart from being too honest and too oblivious sometimes, you’re quite perfect for him as you are. Don’t change that. For once, let go, Viten’ka.

Be stupid, and be in love, and let him love every single part of you. Let him know you so that he can show how much he loves you the same way you know to take his shaking hands when he’s anxious and kiss his fingers one by one. For all that you’ve given him, it’s not enough until you give yourself completely and let him give you something back. Let yourself have this. You deserve it.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just pure fluff and sap. On both sides. Even Mama isn't throwing (too much) shade. I just needed one chapter like this where Mama does nothing but validate Victor's relationship with Yuuri and tell him that he's good enough, that he doesn't have to try so hard, that even though hard work is all Victor knows because he's spent 20 years dedicating himself to skating he doesn't need to stress himself out for this whatever-it-is with Yuuri to work. It's episode 7 next, and Yuuri needs to be 100% ready for that surprise kiss, so what better way to achieve that than have Victor finally be laid bare (figuratively, although I'm sure he would be doing this literally soon after episode 7...) for Yuuri to cherish and love.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very, VERY long chapter because it covers 2 episodes.

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, November 4, 2016 at 22:53  
Subject: Cup of China with Yuuri!

I thought I should send an email instead since this is so exciting and you must know what’s happening. I trust that you’ve watched the live broadcast since your favourite honorary Nikiforov is competing, but I figured that you need to get your information straight out of somebody who’s actually here.

Yuuri was brilliant! Did you see it? Did you see how clean his SP was? Did you see what he did with his tongue??? You must have. The Japanese commentators were going crazy over his SP. I didn’t understand most of it, of course, but Morooka wouldn’t stop talking and smiling and was about one mohawk away from a standing ovation so I’d say he was nearly as excited about Yuuri’s performance as I was. He was definitely giving me a run for my money as Yuuri’s number one fan.

I was completely seduced! Such eros! Not that it’s hard to seduce me, really, since anything he does is irresistible. I would walk off the wing of a plane just to see Yuuri push his hair out of his eyes after coming out of the hot spring one more time, and then I’d walk off the other wing to see him cuddle with Makkachin under a kotatsu (a heated table-blanket hybrid that I think every household in Russia sorely needs).

The best part—if I had to choose—is that I’m pretty sure he wasn’t thinking about food this time.

Yuuri was so different today before his SP, so much more focussed than usual. Not just that, but he also initiated contact. In public. At an international competition. He tangled our fingers in front of a few dozen cameras. Yuuri has no right to be so hot when he was literally standing on ice. How dare he make me fall even more in love with him without even trying! I put so much effort into getting him used to my touch, yet all he has to do is take one look at me and I’m even more gone that I was! This man is a menace. I must keep him to myself to stop him from ruining the world one lovesick fool at a time. It’s not entirely selfless, but I will nevertheless be doing the world a favour! I deserve a prize!

All of that _may_ have something to do with the fact that I, instead of just telling him to seduce me, told him to seduce me by being _nothing but himself_ , to stop using pork cutlet bowl metaphors. There’s only so long I can stand being substituted out for food while Yuuri skates _Eros_ , after all. And besides, I don’t think he needs food metaphors anymore. He’s a lot bolder now—I swear he sometimes runs through his SP for no reason other than to make me flustered.

Please look forward to his FS tomorrow! I know I am.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Yuuri says hello. He told me to thank you for letting me skate and giving him the opportunity to meet me. Such a flatterer! Do you think he would mind if I use his exact words on Mama Katsuki? He won’t sue his favourite coach over copyright violations, would he?

P.P.S. Chris needs to learn to keep his hands to himself. His fingers have no business being so close to Yuuri’s backside, pole dancing buddies or not. Even I’ve never gotten that close to Yuuri.

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, November 4, 2016 at 23:30  
Subject: Cup of China with Yuuri!

I saw many things, Vitya, including your very sorry attempt to form a heart with your hands. That was truly tragic, worse than Jora’s SP about his messy breakup with Anya. I also saw the picture that Chulanont posted of you clinging to Yuuri like a very naked barnacle. Have you decided that if you can’t undress him you’ll just have to undress yourself and hope that he follows your example? The boy has more self-respect and self-preservation instinct than you could ever accumulate in five lifetimes, Vitya—you couldn’t tempt him to commit social suicide even if you threatened to walk off the wings of a hundred planes.

As for Yuuri being an “honorary Nikiforov”—I hope you have plans to rectify that soon so that there’s nothing “honorary” about Yuuri being on our family register. To be quite honest, I wouldn’t mind if you erased yourself from our register and joined Yuuri’s either, but that’s for the both of you to decide. Katsuki-Nikiforov does have a ring to it, though. It’ll be nice to have somebody with humility in our family for once, and we can share the burden of feeding you with the Katsuki’s. I half expected your weight to balloon when you decided to sit out of this season, but I see that you’ve inherited my superior metabolism.

I believe that congratulations are in order now that Yuuri thinks of you while skating Eros? Does this mark the return of Victor “I do more in bed than just sleep” Nikiforov? Or is this a mere extension of Victor “I am so in love I’ll settle for this” Nikiforov?

Tell Yuuri he’s welcome. Also tell him that I wished I’d done a better job instilling common sense in you, but I guess he probably doesn’t really care since he fell for you anyway. Are you at the stage where you read each other’s letters while you’re writing them now? That’s progress. You seem to have been hiding me from him for so long I thought these letters were your guilty pleasure. Thank him for me, for wanting and loving you. Thank him for yourself, too, for the exact same thing. I hope you never forget what a treasure this boy is.

Realistically, you’ll likely be singing his praises on your deathbed, so I’m not really worried about that. For somebody who makes his living by being on ice, you really have very little chill, as your generation would say.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. If you’re that jealous of Chris, just work harder to convince Yuuri that falling into bed with you will be anything but a mistake. Unless, of course, Yuuri doesn’t care for bed sports.

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 5, 2016 at 19:41  
Subject: I am the worst

You said words work best on him so I used words but they didn’t work at all! He cried and told me to shut up and not say anything because apparently I’m only of use when I’m close to him but completely silent!

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 5, 2016 at 19:44  
Subject: I am the worst

Vitya are you sure you used the correct words.

(Don’t email me, focus on Yuuri. It’s very obvious that he’s been crying. Is there anything you can do for him before his FS?)

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 5, 2016 at 19:46  
Subject: I am the worst

…I may have told him that I would resign as his coach if he failed to place.

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 5, 2016 at 19:49  
Subject: I am the worst

VITYA.

And stop emailing me now. All eyes on Yuuri, please. You owe him that much at least after your massive—dare I borrow your words from half a year ago—fuck up.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 5, 2016 at 19:59  
Subject: Your grandfather either successfully summoned a demon or revived the KGB and I don’t know which is worse

VICTOR DMITRIEVICH NIKIFOROV

Yuuri better have loved being tackle-kissed in front of people who control his scores, or I will come over and smack your head like the rash child that you are.

Love,  
Your very proud mother

P.S. No, really, there is black smoke coming from your grandfather’s bedroom. I’ve never seen him so happy.

\---

Dear Mama,

We’re official. Sort of. I mean, we have all the hallmarks of two people in an exclusive romantic relationship except we didn’t actually talk about what it’s called. I don’t think there’s a word in any language that could describe what we are to each other anyway. We are…something, whatever that is. We talked about what we want out of this—I told him I wanted forever, and he didn’t say no—and what we’re comfortable doing. Yuuri seems to think that I wouldn’t be happy with stolen kisses behind closed doors and tangled fingers under tables, but if I’m honest there’s nothing I want more.

Because this is who Yuuri is, isn’t it? He takes things slow, makes sure that he’s on firm ground, before continuing forward. I like how cautious he is, that he’s taking so much care with our relationship. Even if we mess up, just the fact that the both of us want this to work out so badly is enough to keep us together.

You’ll probably say it’s out of character, but I was really worried afterwards, when we finally had time to ourselves once the medal ceremony was over. I was afraid that Yuuri would think I was too brash, too impulsive, too _much_ for him. Do you know what he said to me when I asked him if he’s sure he wants to be with somebody like me who can’t even practise discretion in front of an entire arena? He said, and I quote, “Victor, you’re allowed to be selfish too.”

I am the most selfish person I know, but somehow Yuuri thinks that I haven’t been selfish enough, that me taking up his time and hoarding his love isn’t too selfish for him. He said that I’ve always met him where he is, so he’d like to meet me where I am for once.

It’s a good thing we had that talk after we were back in our room, otherwise I’d have been caught ugly crying on multiple international broadcasts and Yura would have blackmail material for years.

How did I manage to convince this beautiful example of a human being to give me a chance without him realising that I’m actually completely useless at relationships? How did I convince him that starting one with me would be a good idea? Whatever I did, I hope I keep doing it. I’d rather melt all of my medals than lose what I have with him.

And speaking of medals. Second place! Yuuri won a silver medal! It’s been a long time since I was this excited about silver. I’m so proud of Yuuri for doing so well even with a coach like me. I hope we’ll win many more together.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Have you fireproofed dedushka’s room? If I have my way, Yuuri and I will be giving him many, many more reasons to express his happiness in yet more hazardous ways.

P.P.S. Hello, Mrs. Nikiforova. This is Yuuri. Victor has told you many lies about our relationship—I am the lucky one. Thank you so much for bringing him into my life. I will do my best to make sure he never regrets choosing me.

P.P.P.S. LIES. Don’t listen to Yuuri. You know very well that he is the one decision that I will never regret. Of course _I’m_ the lucky one. That quad flip was stunning, and the man who executed it even more so.

\---

Dear Vitya,

Oh you of little faith. Your grandfather’s room has been fireproofed since we first moved in. The demon summoning may be new, but the pyrotechnics aren’t. Remember your eighth birthday when you failed to set your grandfather’s curtains on fire no matter how many sparklers you threw at them?

To Yuuri: Dear sweet child, unless Victor is in the business of telling lies about how terribly close to having a heart attack he is every time he looks at you, I’m fairly certain that he genuinely thinks that he got a better deal out of this than you did. I don’t know what you see in my son, either, but I’m glad you saw what you did. Take care of him for me. I hope to hear more from you, too. Victor has a way of being dramatic about the smallest things like cutting his nails, and I think these letters would greatly benefit from some calming influence.

Now, back to you, Vitya.

I can’t fathom why Yuuri loves you so much, especially after you made him cry, but I’m really happy for you anyway. I was starting to grow tired of watching your plastic smiles on the television—it’s great to finally see you smiling like that again. I can’t even remember the last time you were this happy about a silver medal. Is it strange if I think of this as progress?

And it’s true, you know. You have actually been very selfless these past few months. There is, of course, an undercurrent of selfishness—almost everything you did was for the express purpose of getting into Yuuri’s good books—but in the end I think you’ve been the model of restraint. At least, until after Yuuri’s FS in China, when I assumed you’d lost your mind completely. It’s a good thing Yuuri took it so well.

So if Yuuri says you have the right to be selfish, to indulge your need to be close to him, then all I can say is take advantage of it. Look at my future son-in-law—he has legs that could kick you into the next week if you so much as tried something he isn’t ready for. You’ll know when you’re about to cross the line, so don’t worry about pushing him too far. Do watch out for when he gets too quiet, though. That always spells trouble.

As long as the both of you work to keep what you have, I’m hardly worried about you at all.

(I can’t help that I will always be a bit worried. You are, after all, very unpredictable and very prone to disastrous split second decisions. I give thanks every day that going to Hasetsu worked out so unexpectedly well.)

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Viaorel who patiently gave me a crash course in Russian diminutives and provided me with Georgi's nickname (Jora). Spelling and grammatical errors (if any) will be corrected not now but soon. I am about three blinks away from nodding off.
> 
> 24012017: There are 666 subscriptions for this fic haha. Time to have Victor's grandfather summon an actual demon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timestamps are always according to Victor's location, and Victor is always on the right. Formatting was a monster. Be kind. I'm new to CSS.

Mama

**22 Nov  
** 22:45

I’m back on Russian soil

Welcome back, Vitya. How is Yuuri handling Russian winter?

Very well

Apparently Detroit wasn’t a lot warmer

And here I was hoping that the cold would give you an excuse to cuddle him.

It doesn’t need to be cold for us to cuddle )

Ah, to be young and in love.

We’re heading to the hotel right now

Are you coming for tomorrow’s practice?

Aeroflot.

Ah

At least try to make it in time for his FS

Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I can’t wait to meet Yuuri.

And you.

Of course I can’t wait to meet you too. 

To be fair, I would want to meet Yuuri more than me too

Papa and dedushka are coming too, right?

I couldn’t stop them even if I wanted to.

And I don’t.

Because I value my sanity and the current arrangement of my limbs.

On one hand I’d like to see how dedushka reacts to being present while Yuuri and me are being disgustingly affectionate

On the other hand, I don’t know if I will still be in a relationship afterwards

If you aren’t, your grandfather should fear for his life.

I may not be skilled with darts, but I handle knives every day and I will not hesitate to use them.

Maybe you should stay away from Yuuri too

I know how to handle knives.

Please come to meet Yuuri. I will be happy to introduce you.

)

\--  
**23 Nov  
** 19:03

<2016-11-16 15.22.39.mp4>

Yuuri’s SP at practice today

We will be there on the day of his SP.

Make sure he keeps skating like that until then.

I’m offended that you think I wouldn’t if you didn't tell me to

I am his coach, after all

Most coaches don’t kiss their skaters.

This just means that I’m doubly invested in his success

You keep telling yourself that.

And don’t distract him.

What gave you the idea that I would ever deliberately distract Yuuri from his practice?

I don’t know.

Maybe the fact that you whistled every single time Yuuri so much as glanced in your direction?

It’s called being encouraging

You should try it some day

It’s very effective

For Yuuri, maybe.

It wasn’t very effective for you at all.

With the exception of skating, once somebody praised you for something you just stopped trying at all.

Actually, make Yuuri an exception to that rule too.

It’s amazing how much work you’re putting into your relationship despite receiving validation from both Yuuri and me.

Keep it up.

I intend to

<2016-11-16 16.01.55.mp4>

Yuuri running through his FS

You have great taste in men.

Of course

Yuuri, too, has wonderful taste in men

And there I was thinking you’d learnt some humility.

Where did self-doubting Vitya go?

I’m starting to miss him. 

Yuuri deserves the best

How can I deserve him if I’m anything but?

Have you considered that maybe you don’t deserve him?

Everyday

But if he’s going to be stuck with me I might as well be as good as I can for him

\--  
**24 Nov  
** 19:01 

No videos of Yuuri today?

Yuuri forbade me from taking them when he found out that I was sending them to you

How terrible is the angle?

Very

Send them to me anyway.

You know me so well

<2016-11-17 14.11.24.mp4>

Yuuri warming up while I struggle to get a decent angle without being too obvious

<2016-11-17 14.35.02.mp4>

Yuuri’s SP

Still struggling to get a decent angle

<2016-11-17 15.54.35.mp4>

Yuuri’s FS

Gave up on ever finding a decent but discreet angle

Too distracted by Yuuri to try anyway

<2016-11-17 19.21.21.mp4>

Why did you send me a video of Papa knitting

Weren’t we exchanging videos of people we love doing things they love?

I’m going to tell Papa that you’ve sunk to his levels of sap

He won’t take it as an insult.

If anything, he’ll probably print your text out and frame it in his office.

Is that supposed to discourage me?

Not at all.

\--  
**25 Nov  
** 18:34

Tell Yuuri good luck.

He’s in group 2

It’ll be a while before he skates

And he won’t be needing luck

Bold words coming from somebody who was panicking over how he could potentially ruin Yuuri’s career just half a year ago.

That doesn’t make it any less true

Well then I look forward to his gold-worthy SP.

Save a space in my trophy room for his medal

Already done.

Your grandfather made an altar with the pictures that you sent of the both of you together.

He says that Yuuri is the best thing you’ve ever won.

Other than the fact that I didn’t win Yuuri because he’s not a thing to be won

And the fact that I couldn’t have won him if he didn’t agree to it in the first place

This is actually incredibly accurate

I know.

Which is why it’s next to your first medal so you can see at a glance all of the times your life was changed.

Just seeing Yuuri on ice is enough

But it’s a nice sentiment

\--  
19:45

Vitya why are you kneeling.

I know you like to spoil Yuuri but don’t you think that this is a little excessive?

Are you trying to give the judges an aneurysm?

Stop waving.

It’s rude to be encouraging the crowd when they’re chanting your name right before YUURI’s SP.

Are you two even trying to be discreet?

At this point I’m not sure why I’m still surprised that Yuuri’s SP keeps evolving to become increasingly provocative.

That was an amazing performance.

He’s even more enigmatic in person.

I can see why you never stop going on about him in your letters.

If you father were even half as amazing, I would do the same thing too.

Unfortunately, the things that I find endearing about him are not things that are remotely beautiful to watch.

It’s actually pretty boring when he ignores the rest of the world to concentrate on his formulas.

Another personal best!

I am this close to disowning you for not telling me that you were planning to put on all these shows of affection.

How did you ever get Yuuri to agree to them?

\--  
20:26

He barely agreed, if you were wondering

\--  
20:52

Where are you?

Your grandfather is eager to meet Yuuri.

Call us.

Vitya?

\--  
22:12

I’m in our room

Makkachin is at the vet’s

She might not make it

Mama, Yuuri wants me to go to Makkachin and leave him here to compete alone

What happened?

Yuuri said she ate some steamed buns and choked

I don’t want to leave Yuuri alone

I can’t

But he’s making me go

I’ve asked Yakov to be his coach for tomorrow

But I hate that I won’t be here with him

I want to be the first person to welcome him off the ice

Go back to Japan.

You’ll be miserable here, which means that you’ll be an absolutely useless coach. 

I think it’s reminding him of his own dog

All the more reason to go.

I don’t really know what happened to his dog, but I’m sure Yuuri understands.

And he’ll feel better knowing that you’re with Makkachin.

Why do I have to choose?

It’s not really choosing if Yuuri makes the decision for you.

My flight leaves tomorrow at 00:20

But Mama

I’m not ready to leave Yuuri here

Alone

We’ll be there for him if he wants.

But he doesn’t really know any of you

You’ll just make him anxious

Why are things becoming so difficult for Yuuri?

He’s so close to qualifying

What if I ruin his chances by not being there for him when he needs me?

What if I mess things up for him?

Do you want me to go over to you now?

Please.

\--  
**26 Nov  
** 00:01

I told him that you’ll find him after the men’s FS

Yuuri always hangs around a bit after his skate

I’m sure you’ll be able to find him

If he needs a hug, give him one

Even a hug from dedushka would be better than no hug at all

We will.

Your grandfather looks forward to it.

Have a safe trip.

I’ll update you on Makkachin’s situation once I get to Japan

I know how much you love her

Don’t forget that we love you too.

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 26, 2016 at 15:58  
Subject: <blank>

Makkachin is fine. She was no longer critical when I got there—we’re taking her home now. Thank god.

I’ll be watching Yuuri’s FS with his family, but I still I really wish that I can be there with him. Give him a hug from me.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 26, 2016 at 16:03  
Subject: <blank>

That’s good to hear.

How are you holding up? Did you sleep on the flight at all?

Love,  
Mama

P.S. Your grandfather volunteered to be the one to hug Yuuri. I hope you don’t mind.

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 26, 2016 at 16:09  
Subject: <blank>

Somehow, I don’t remember it being this hard to fall asleep in economy class. It was much easier when I was flying with Yuuri.

I’m too high-strung to sleep, anyway. Maybe I’ll nap a bit before Yuuri’s FS.

Dedushka can hug Yuuri as many times as he wants—I think his enthusiasm will remind Yuuri of me, which will hopefully be a good thing.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 26, 2016 at 16:11  
Subject: <blank>

Sweet dreams.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 26, 2016 at 18:30  
Subject: Gold

I couldn’t sleep. Mama Katsuki noticed and came to give me something to drink. We ended up talking about Yuuri—it’s probably one of our favourite topics, really. Even my limited Japanese was enough since we both speak the language of love.

We started talking about Yuuri’s future, if he would continue skating, if I would stay on as his coach, if I planned on being here long term or if I was going back to Russia. I told her that I’d follow Yuuri anywhere because my life had been so empty before him that it’s nothing worth returning to without him. I’d continue coaching him too, if he wanted.

Then she asked if I thought I could make Yuuri happy for the rest of his life, and I said that I didn’t know but was more than willing to try. I really love him, as you know, and I’ve also decided that I never want to leave him. If Yuuri thinks he can be happy with me, who am I to stop him?

I must have passed some sort of test because Mama Katsuki wouldn’t stop smiling after that. Well, she wouldn’t stop smiling _harder_ —she already smiles all the time, unlike Yuuri who only saves his for special occasions, so many of which I am privileged to be privy to.

After something like that, I just had to do it.

I asked her if she would let me marry Yuuri.

She said yes.

Well, she asked me if I was sure I didn’t mean to say, “Would you let Yuuri marry me?” and I told her that I wanted to wait for Yuuri to propose—if he ever does, but it doesn’t matter even if it never happens since it won’t be legally binding and I’m not going anywhere anyway—because I don’t want to push him before he’s ready. I asked, “Will you let me say yes?” And _then_ she said yes. To be precise, she said, “Of course, Vicchan,” then hugged me, then said that I was already family.

I may have cried a bit.

She then spent some time after that teaching me how to recognise a Japanese proposal because apparently Yuuri, despite being a young person who has studied abroad, is still traditional enough (and shy enough) that he’s more likely to say things like “Do you want to lie in the same grave as me?” (morbid!) or “Do you want to grow old together?” (much sweeter; I hope Yuuri goes with this) than “Will you marry me?” “Will you make miso soup for me every day?” is also a possibility since he likes food so much. Mama Katsuki said katsudon might not be too far of a stretch, even, so she gave me her recipe. I took notes—aren’t you proud?

And we can’t be _properly_ engaged without an engagement ceremony, where you and Papa (and probably dedushka, since he won’t stand to be left out) will have to meet Yuuri’s family. I’m sure you’ll love them—I’m just not quite as certain that they’ll love you. Mama Katsuki suggested that we could forgo it since you’re all in Russia, but I insisted. I want to do everything right.

This day can only get better if Yuuri medals and qualifies for the GPF.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 26, 2016 at 19:07  
Subject: Gold

You have got to start putting warning labels on your emails and letters so that I don’t open them in your grandfather’s presence if they contain something that might potentially set him off. Which your email was full of, as usual, ever since you went to Hasetsu. So maybe I should just never read anything from you within a five mile radius of your grandfather ever.

Ignoring the fact that laws are things that exist, I don’t know if anybody would take one look at you and Yuuri and conclude that you’re anything but already married. However, it is wonderful to hear that you were taking all of my ribbing about future sons-in-law seriously—I was starting to fear that I would have to wrestle the both of you to a ceremony. At least I know now that you would go willingly, even if Yuuri might not.

Do you know if Yuuri has even considered marriage? He seems like a very practical young man—there’s a chance that he might never propose at all since there’s no point. He might just slowly start moving things around so that your belongings become indistinguishable from his and you’ll effectively be married before you even realise.

Unfortunately, I don’t have as good news for you.

Yuuri looked distracted at morning practice and didn’t speak with Yakov at all. As much as I’d like to be confident in my future son-in-law, I think you’ll agree that this doesn’t bode well. However, he’s not (visibly) falling apart, so it already seems like he’s in better shape than the last GPF. And speaking of the GPF, he's already made it there once before without you. I trust that your absence will not spell complete disaster for his FS.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 27, 2016 at 01:08  
Subject: Yuuri

Will you tell him how proud I am of him? It doesn't matter that he didn’t medal. It was beautiful.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 27, 2016 at 01:10  
Subject: Yuuri

As soon as we can get to him.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 27, 2016 at 01:57  
Subject: Hugs

We found him hugging every skater he could find. Is this unusual for him or are you just the only person he thinks twice about before touching?

Love,  
Mama

P.S. We all took turns. He hugs like an iron-clawed teddy bear.

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 28, 2016 at 02:04  
Subject: Hugs

I have no idea what you’re talking about. He hugs like a cloud.

And he’s not usually like that. He’s not even that affectionate with his family. I hope he’s okay.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, November 28, 2016 at 02:09  
Subject: Hugs

I’m sure he’ll be back to normal in no time once he’s back in Hasetsu.

(By which I mean once he’s back with you, which should be soon, because he’s booked the first flight to Japan and isn’t staying for the gala.)

Love,  
Mama

\--

Yuuri ♥

**28 Nov  
** 02:43

Your family is nice but they’re not the Nikiforov I need to see

Come home

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 28, 2016 at 20:56  
Subject: Home

Everyone at the airport was treated to Yuuri and me hugging for about ten straight minutes until security came and asked us to move away from the exit so that others could pass.

How could I not want to hold him after he told me to take care of him until he retires? That sounded exactly like a proposal if we ignore the odd condition of his retirement. (Thank you Mama Katsuki for being a seer.)

Of course, it’d also be nice if he never retires, but even I know that it's not possible.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 28, 2016 at 20:56  
Subject: Home

Maybe you should clarify what he meant by “until he retires.” It feels like something that could really throw a wrench in your plan to (all but legally) marry him.

But I shan’t rain on your parade—enjoy being newly engaged, Vitya.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. Honestly, you’d think your grandfather would stop being so effusively happy for you after so many letters of your relationship getting progressively more intimate. It’s a good thing our flight leaves tomorrow, otherwise you’ll be waking up to news of a plane crashing in the middle of Russia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY YUURI'S CAMEO WAS SO SHORT


	15. Chapter 15

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 30, 2016 at 03:12  
Subject: Gold? Silver? Stones?

What kind of ring do you think Yuuri would like? Gold? Silver? Huge diamond? The local jeweller’s has way too many options. I wanted to get it for Yuuri's birthday yesterday but I couldn't choose.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 30, 2016 at 03:25  
Subject: Gold? Silver? Stones?

Isn’t it ridiculously early where you are? Please don’t buy your engagement ring on three hours of sleep, especially not if it's going to double as Yuuri's birthday present.

How would I have any idea about what Yuuri likes? You know him better than I do, and if you can’t decide what to get him, why would I have any better luck? Why don’t you ask Yuuri what he likes—I’m sure he knows better than either of us.

I have a recommendation, though. Get him something plain. I have a feeling that you’d like him to be wearing it at all times, and I don’t think falling on a large, protruding diamond while skating would do his career any favours.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. Since he’s such a huge fan of your career and medals, maybe you should get him something gold to remind him of you at all times. You certainly think highly enough of yourself that he’s probably half-expecting that anyway.

P.P.S. Why didn't you tell me it was his birthday earlier? We would've gotten him something. Now he probably thinks that nobody from this family cares.

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 30, 2016 at 03:30  
Subject: Gold? Silver? Stones?

Thank you! I’m going to get a plain gold ring as soon as I can sneak away from Yuuri for an hour.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Why would you assume that I didn't wish him a happy birthday yesterday? I even let him have pork cutlet bowls—an indulgence I'll turn a blind eye to just this once.

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 30, 2016 at 03:35  
Subject: Gold? Silver? Stones?

No. Don’t. That was a joke.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 30, 2016 at 16:12  
Subject: Gold? Silver? Stones?

Attachments: <2016-11-30 15.58.01.jpg> <2016-11-30 16.00.42.jpg>

Too late. Isn’t it beautiful? I think I’ll surprise him with it after the GPF so he can wear it when he skates at 4CC and Worlds, and I can be that excessively proud coach who won’t stop pointing out just how brilliant my skater and fiancée is.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, November 30, 2016 at 16:17  
Subject: Gold? Silver? Stones?

Why did I ever hope that you’ll think before you do something so important?

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, December 07, 2016 at 22:31  
Subject: Rings!

Attachments: <2016-12-07 18.49.33.jpg> <2016-12-07 21.55.04.jpg> <2016-12-07 21.55.10.jpg> <2016-12-07 21.55.18.jpg> <2016-12-07 22.29.21.jpg>

Mama, Yuuri gave _me_ a _ring_.

This is both the best and worst surprise I’ve had to date. On one hand, Yuuri took initiative twice in a row, which is a special occasion that merits pork cutlet bowls if I could find them in Barcelona and if Yuuri didn’t have to compete tomorrow. On the other hand, _I_ was supposed to be the one to put a ring on him first.

Also, Yuuri calls them good luck charms. While I am not opposed to that since I know that charms are a big deal in Japan (I have one in my wallet that Yuuri got for me just last week), it would be nice to call things what they are for once. I’m neither Yuuri’s boyfriend, nor his lover, nor his fiancée—to Yuuri, I’m just Victor, whom he happens to be in an exclusive relationship with and engaged to be married to. I shouldn’t be dissatisfied, but sometimes I feel like Yuuri is trying to avoid acknowledging what we have.

But I’m probably overthinking things, aren’t I? We’re engaged, even if Yuuri refuses to say it. It can only get better from here.

Anyway, however it happened, at least we’re wearing matching rings now, and it feels so much more real. I couldn’t have dreamed up Yuuri’s proposal even if I wanted to.

He looked stunned (and stunning, but that’s beside the point) when I slid the ring I bought for him onto his finger after he put his on me, like he hadn’t expected me to be carrying one around waiting for the perfect opportunity to present it to him. We exchanged rings at a church, and there was a choir in the background. It was so much better than I could have wished for.

We took some photos to commemorate the occasion—I’ve attached some of the best. Just look at how our rings shine! The ring he got me is gold too!

This is the only round, gold thing I’ll ever need, but I wouldn’t mind if Yuuri brought home a gold medal from Barcelona as well, just to put the Canadian bragging about his silver ring in his place.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, December 07, 2016 at 23:13  
Subject: Rings!

I love how Yuuri makes you so excited all the time (such as the time you found weather interesting), although I will acknowledge that this is, indeed, an occasion that deserves to be celebrated. I’m sure you can think of other ways to let him know how pleased you are even in the absence of decent Japanese cuisine. After all, you are engaged—you wouldn’t be if you were completely incapable of showing him how wonderful he is.

While we’re on the topic of expressing your love, is Yuuri actually capable of thinking about you in a sexual capacity? I assume you’ll still marry him in a heartbeat even if he isn’t, but, knowing your history of bed partners, I don’t think I’d be remiss in saying that you’d prefer if Yuuri were receptive to yet another way you could smother him in affection.

So, if just to give your poor mother some peace of mind, talk to him to see how he wants to be loved. (I think he knows better than to eat pork cutlet bowls before a competition anyway.) It’s not new advice, but I’ve noticed that you’re always asking me questions that only Yuuri can answer. What does he like? Why did he do this? _I_ don’t know, but I do know who does.

And if you really wanted my input, I think you’re still not seeing eye to eye on things, however much better you’ve gotten at communication since that disaster back when you were just starting out as Yuuri’s coach. You shouldn’t be feeling like Yuuri isn’t fully on board with the engagement—it’s the sort of thing that you’re both supposed to be equally giddy about. Something’s not right if you don’t feel the same excitement from him.

At least you have the same taste in rings, though, so that’s one thing you’re of one mind about.

You’re both surprisingly traditional when it comes to rings. Plain gold, very classic. I expected it from Yuuri, but it’s also a nice contrast to how flamboyant you can be sometimes. The rings look gorgeous on the two of you. I mean, of course they would—I look gorgeous with my ring, too, and without it as well. No son of mine will be anything less than spectacular, especially when he’s quite literally glowing from how in love he is.

May your good luck charms bring you another round, gold thing.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, December 07, 2016 at 22:55  
Subject: Rings!

I will. Talk to him, that is, but only after the GPF. If it goes badly, I don't want to it affect his performance.

I hope it doesn't come to that.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Wed, December 07, 2016 at 22:59  
Subject: Rings!

I hope so too.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's shorter this time round. I might even have separate chapters for episodes 11 and 12 for no reason other than semester is so well under way that I'm having acne breakouts from stress. There will be at least one more chapter after episode 12, although I'm not sure how long that one will be. Anyway, keep an eye out for that. I might go back smoothen out the language in the last few chapters (which I haven't been devoting as much time to as the earlier ones) when I have time.
> 
> 07022017: I forgot that Victor learnt in this episode what Yuuri doesn't remember last GPF's banquet. OTL In my defence, I have a 2000 word report due tomorrow and it's only half done.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be longer but it's already 2.7k words so...

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 22:44  
Subject: GPF update

I'll be honest and say that Yuuri could’ve done better for his SP, but it wasn’t bad at all.

I shouldn’t have allowed him to include a quad flip. His success rate for it is even lower than his quad Salchow’s used to be—it was incredibly irresponsible of me to let him do it. However impossible it was to say no to him, especially when he’s finally confident enough to ask for something, I should still have vetoed it as his coach. You could tell that he spent his whole programme worrying about the quad flip from the tightness of his movements, and of course the judges picked up on that and marked him down for presentation.

It was still better than any score he’s achieved before this season, though—all thanks to me, of course! There are things I could’ve done better, but I hope he doesn't mind me coaching him for a very long time to come. He still has so much left in him that none of his previous coaches were able to bring out; he's been skating too conservatively all this while when he should've been taking risks and testing his limits. It’d be such a shame if he retired after this season like he’s been planning all along, now that I've finally got him doing things he never imagined he could. I can’t even count the number of times Yuuri’s told me how hard he’s pushing himself just because this is his last season.

But that’s all right. I still have 4CC and Worlds to convince him not to retire.

I can’t help but feel that Yuuri doesn’t really want to stop skating competitively either. Compared to me from last season, he still has so much love for the sport. I was stretched so thin, but I stayed because I didn’t know what else to do. For me, there had only ever been skating, but it’s been more routine than anything else until recently because I’d lost the drive to win. Before I found Yuuri, before he gave me everything I’ve been missing, skating had become something I’d dreaded. I was so lonely—what’s the point of it all? I already had more medals than I knew what to do with, and the only records to break were my own. It was suffocating. I still loved it, but there had to be a way to skate without feeling so empty.

But Yuuri…Yuuri loves skating so much, and he’s so good at it. I love it too, of course, but I don’t love competition. Not anymore, at least. I’ve never been happier than when skating with Yuuri after training, just the two of us and the ice.

Yuuri hates losing—that’s what makes him such a good competitor, anxiety aside. I want to be able to bring out more of that. He deserves so many medals.

Love,  
Victor

P.S. Yuuri doesn’t remember the banquet _at all_. This explains so much. I meditated on this for a whole day and have come to the conclusion that Yuuri is a literal saint for still wanting to be with me after I made a complete fool of myself when I first showed up at this family’s inn flirting like hell itself was heated by my passion.

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:51  
Subject: GPF update

What would you like to hear me say? That you should’ve tried to stop him from adding the quad flip to the end of his SP? I don’t think it would have changed anything. If he was brazen enough to swap out the last jump of his FS for a quad flip in China after crying his eyes out (because his coach-boyfriend-future fiancée—that’s you—didn’t have the slightest clue about how to handle emotionally fragile people), what makes you think he’d listen to you if you said no?

The way I see it, this way, at least he knows that you’re behind him. He knew he could come to you if he needed help. If you’d shot down the idea, he might’ve practised the jump on his own and risked injury since you wouldn’t be there for him. You may not be the best coach, but somehow your methods work for him.

Seeing as Yuuri is tied with you for the most stubborn person ever, I have a bit of difficulty imagining him changing his mind if he’s already decided to retire. Either way, you might as well enjoy what’s left of your first and potentially last season as his coach. Make the most out of the 4CC and Worlds—make him a champion. I know that you’re both capable of that.

Do I need to wish him luck for the Japanese nationals as well? I don’t think Yuuri will have any problem winning that competition, but one can never be too supportive, right? With you by his side, welcoming him off the ice with too-tight hugs and unending praise, I don’t see him placing eleventh again.

Just because Yuuri wants to continue skating competitively doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to retire. Look at you. You’re the complete opposite of him—you wanted to leave competitions behind but felt obliged to remain anyway for some unfathomable reason. That said, however, I think you could still convince him to continue if you know why he wants to retire. Maybe he feels like he’s peaked and it’s all downhill from here, in which case you should sacrifice yourself by emphasising how much older than him you are. Or maybe he’s made a promise to himself to get through another season when you showed up just as he was about to properly retire, just to have a taste of what it’d be like to have you as his coach. If so, maybe assuring him that you want to be his coach for as long as he skates would help.

But this is all speculation. You’ll only know if you ask, so please do, and hopefully soon.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. That really does explain a lot. It’s fortunate that Yuuri found your inexplicably permanent bedroom eyes charming, otherwise I’d have been reading a lot more tear-stained letters.

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:19  
Subject: <blank>

mama how do i stpp cyring

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:21  
Subject: <blank>

What’s wrong? It’s not like you to make so many typing errors. Or cry, really.

(Wiping your eyes tends helps with vision. I highly recommend this if you want me to understand what you’re typing.)

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:21  
Subject: <blank>

everythng

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:21  
Subject: <blank>

yuuri wants to retire after thr gpf

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:22  
Subject: <blank>

What did he say?

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:22  
Subject: <blank>

nothing! he just suddenky sakd that he wants to stop aftrr this!

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:24  
Subject: <blank>

mama why woudl he say somwthing like that

it’s like he odesnt even care abotu me anymre. he knows how mucj happier i’ve become snce i left compettion and strated coaching him so why is he tlling em to go back wihtou him?

he sdai that i’m the onr who said thta this is only ujntil the gpf by i neber said that! i evne told him i didnt want him to retire at thr airpott, remmber? how did he evrr think that i wanted to edn this?

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:25  
Subject: <blank>

Where are you? Don’t do anything stupid.

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:27  
Subject: <blank>

bathroom. yuuri’s outsde. he’s telling me tht he’s sorru but I dn’t know what to thjnk anymore

i thought thingd were going so well. we’re engaged. we have RINGS. we were going to be toegtther forever

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:30  
Subject: <blank>

You _are_ going to be together forever if I have any say at all. The two of you really are a match made in heaven. You’re not the only one horrible at communication in this relationship after all—apparently Yuuri’s just as bad as you, if his intention had been to retire after the GPF all along but you thought you had so much more time than that.

I love you, but you need to know that rings are not the be all and end all of a relationship. I’m beginning to suspect that Yuuri might not even realise that you think you’re engaged, at the rate misunderstandings keep materialising out of thin air.

Did he say why he thinks you miss competing?

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:30  
Subject: <blank>

no. i dn’t understadm why he thinks that at all!

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Thu, December 8, 2016 at 23:33  
Subject: <blank>

You have tomorrow and most of the day after to sort it out before Yuuri’s FS.

Give it some thought, will you? Compromising may be better than either of you getting your way. Would you consider returning to competitive skating for him if he agrees not to retire? This way the both of you can have what you want—you wouldn’t be skating alone because Yuuri will be there, and Yuuri gets to have you skating (competitively) again. Of course, you’ll have to consider your geriatric body, but Yuuri didn’t say he wanted you to win anything, did he?

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, December 9, 2016 at 00:26  
Subject: <blank>

We talked about it some more afterwards. He says that the way I looked when I was watching other skaters earlier today (yesterday?) was proof that I missed competitive skating, which is so many layers of misinformation stacked on top of each other that I don’t even know where to begin. Actually, you know what, we can start with how he’s so terrible at reading me despite having lived under the same roof for almost a year. What was that about? I let him in, held nothing back, and this is how he repays me? By putting words in my mouth and assuming I’d leave him after the GPF even though I’ve explicitly told him that I wish he would never retire when he asked me to care for him until he does?

I’m not even mad, Mama. I’m just so disappointed.

I thought we had something perfect. It turns out that I’ve just been deluding myself, that Yuuri has built up this idea of me that doesn’t exist—some competitive figure skater extraordinaire who must either skate or die. I’ve put so much of myself out there for him that there is almost nothing left that he hasn’t seen, I’ve shown him how much more important he is to me compared to everything else, but we still ended up here.

It feels like everything is shattering. I don’t even know if the man I love is the same person as the one who’s sleeping in the bed next to mine anymore. What if I’ve build up an idea of him too? What if I’ve let him down as well?

I tried to set him right, to tell him that it was the skating and not the competition that excited me, but he seems to be under the very mistaken impression that I can’t skate unless I’m a competitor, that not competing will kill my skating. To be fair, I don’t particularly want to _not_ compete either. It’s more accurate to say that it doesn’t make a difference to me now whether I’m skating competitively or not because I’ve found what I’ve been lacking while I was still throwing myself headfirst into every competition. That inspiration I came to Hasetsu to find has been Yuuri and his skating all along. At this point, I would gladly compete if I knew I wouldn’t lose Yuuri in the process.

Yet he still wants to retire, and from the way he was talking it feels like he expects us to go our separate ways after that.

For somebody who loves skating so much but still conflates retirement with the death of one’s skating, and for somebody who once told me to stay by him, I can’t see how he ever reached this decision.

We agreed to come to a decision separately after his FS. I really hope he changes his mind, because I am more than willing to go back if he does. Perhaps, now that I’ve found my inspiration (or, rather, my inspiration found me with a hideous tie and 16 flutes of champagne in him), skating could be thrilling again.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, December 9, 2016 at 01:15  
Subject: <blank>

Are you stupid or just blinded by self-pity?

You can doubt yourself, you can even doubt Yuuri, but if you have any desire at all for your relationship to not fall apart you never, _ever_ doubt your love. He may have a very different interpretation of what you want from your relationship, but anyone can see that he speaks from a place of immense self-doubt. Regardless of how uncertain you are of where you stand with him, he loves you and wants the best for you.

He knows literally everything about you except, apparently, how much you love him. I was at the Rostelecom Cup; I’ve seen you interact—it’s less stars in his eyes and more exasperated fondness, with the occasional “you are such a disaster but you’re _my_ disaster.” You should know better than to think that he only sees the skater in you. You said it yourself back then that he wants you to be Victor, so I don’t understand why you insist on erasing all of the progress that you’ve made. Just because he’s wrong about one thing doesn’t mean that your entire relationship is a lie. If this is how relationships work, your father and I would never have made it to the second date.

Things went wrong because he thought you wanted something different _for your career_ than what you actually do. It’s not a question about whether he loves you or doubts that you love him; he just let his anxieties get in his way and convinced himself that your skating is more important than he is. Don’t you let that get in your way as well— _don’t you dare give up_ because of that, Vitya. I want to see the both of you wearing those rings when I watch Yuuri’s FS tomorrow.

I don’t want to hear from you that you ended your relationship unless you’ve spent at least a week thinking it through. In fact, I don’t want to hear that at all under any circumstances, but if you want to ruin what is possibly the best thing that’s ever happened to you, you might as well do it after serious reflection about how foolish you would be if you choose to end it.

You’ve seen him break—listen to what he says then. Stay by him, Vitya. That’s the closest you’ve ever gotten to ripping words directly from his heart without giving him time to overthink, which I suspect is exactly what led to this whole retirement mess. You’ve avoided talking about this properly like the adults that you (supposedly) are ever since you arrived in Hasetsu without even a mediocre understanding of Yuuri’s language, excited to be his coach before flying off again to compete. It’s about time, don’t you think? The plan was originally to take time off from competing to gather yourself before returning, but things are different now. Your plans have changed along the way, and if you’ve never outright told Yuuri that they have then I can’t fault him for wanting to end things with you before you end them with him.

It’s not because he doesn’t love you, so stop trying to emulate Jora.

And please, don’t do anything rash or foolish just because you’re hurt. I can tell by the tone of your letter that you’re about half a badly timed wink away from saying things you don’t mean.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things that are now canon that make this story no longer canon-compliant: Yuuri bought both rings. Victor knew Yuuri before the whole "commemorative photo" fiasco. They randomly did lifts and decided to insert them into Stammi Vicino Wth. I've had it with this series. How am I supposed to keep things canon-compliant when they keep giving me new stuff to work with like every goddamn week??? Even though the series is over??? UGH. It was already a hard enough decision to stick with canon episode 12. Now we have all of that too. You know what, I'm just going to ignore that interview and stick with animated canon because it's way too late to get the whole ring fiasco (which I only posted last week gdi) to fit.
> 
> (And sorry for throwing you angst this close to Valentine's Day.)


	17. Chapter 17

From: v_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, December 9, 2016 at 23:04  
Subject: One last hurrah

Regardless of Yuuri’s decision tomorrow, I’m returning for one last season.

I thought about it during practice—there wasn’t much to do but watch Yuuri, which I’ve done so many times I could recite a list of corrections in my sleep just by hearing the sounds his blades make—and remembered how I used to imagine retirement would be. I would break a few world records and leave behind a legacy so great that others would be trying to escape my shadow for decades. And while I’ve accomplished all that (not to brag, but not everyone has enough medals to warrant a trophy room), I remember also wanting to leave on a high note, not be dragged through the gates of retirement by bone-deep weariness.

At the end of the last season, it felt like I didn’t have much of a choice. It was either retire or continue skating even though I’d lost the all-consuming passion I once held for it. There wasn’t any point if my best was lacklustre and boring and insincere. But now I’ve been given a second chance—I could stage a glorious comeback with everything that living with Yuuri has taught me, that loving Yuuri has given me.

For the first time in a long time, I can’t wait to put myself out there on the ice. I don’t even have to think about what my theme will be because I’m so full to bursting with things I want to show the world.

I hope, even if Yuuri chooses to leave skating, that he will be able to see how much he has done for me when he watches my programmes. It’s not just love, although that is definitely the biggest takeaway from my time with him. It’s seeing no way out but never giving up, being afraid but never running away, being tired but never stopping, being your own worst enemy but also your own greatest strength. Yuuri is such a beautiful person in ways that go far beyond anything I’ve ever seen in myself. If he could pick himself up after a disastrous and disappointing season to qualify again for the GPF, I have no excuse to give up just because I don’t want to face being anything less than perfect.

He’s taught me how to live, Mama.

So I’m going back, and, as you can probably tell by now, my theme is life.

It’s as much for me as it is for him. This time, I’m ending my career on my own terms. I will choose to retire at the end of this season knowing that the close of this chapter is just the beginning of the rest of my life with Yuuri, not because I can’t see any way for me to continue skating without disappointing everybody.

(And in case it wasn't obvious enough, I’m not planning on letting him go whether he retires or not—I’d be a fool if I let his anxiety convince me to leave him.)

I guess you could say that I was paralysed, unable to move forward because of this history of perfection (trophy room, remember?) that’s caused people to expect ever greater things from me, almost terrified of trying if there is just the slightest chance of being anything short of breath-taking. A part of me was afraid that I had nothing left to give. But now, with Yuuri, I do, so maybe it’s time I showed everybody this newer, better, _best_ version of Victor Nikiforov.

And maybe I’ll take back that record from Yura.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Fri, December 9, 2016 at 23:51  
Subject: One last hurrah

Since being the voice of reason is apparently the only function my letters serve—whether you listen to it is another matter altogether—I’m going to have to remind you that you do not have any programmes prepared. You seem to be implying that you’re diving headfirst into competition in the middle of this season, which I strongly _do not recommend_ for reasons including a lack of programmes and possibly too many pork cutlet bowls while you were too busy coaching to keep yourself in shape. God knows how many ex-skaters let themselves go once they settle into the comfortable rhythm of yelling on the wrong side of the rink. Just look at Yakov.

So what are you going to do about your programmes? I don’t suppose it would be particularly impressive if you executed jumps and figures one after another in complete silence like you’re demonstrating them to the judges. How many points do you think you could get for such a technically perfect “performance”? You definitely won’t be setting any personal bests with programmes like that, much less be breaking Yurochka’s new world record, but I look forward to watching you try anyway.

Speaking of programmes, how is Yuuri’s exhibition programme coming along? I’ve been looking forward to it—please tell me that it’s still on.

On to more important things: thank you for deciding to stay with Yuuri regardless of how things pan out. We may not have a house left if your grandfather hears that you won’t be bringing Yuuri home. You may also find yourself all but disowned, but I’m sure I can convince him to rethink erasing a five-time world champion from our family register. On the other hand, I don’t know if I’d be willing to do that, so your continued presence in the family register is effectively still contingent on not breaking your promise to add Yuuri’s name to it.

You know how much I’d prefer for you to stop breaking your body, but if you want your “last hurrah,” nothing short of the end of the world will stop you. Even then, I’m sure you’ll find a way to skate in the afterlife. Just don’t forget to treat your body more kindly when you start competing again.

I would like to say that Yuuri ought to know better than to coerce your body into another season, but perhaps he already knows that you’d take any opportunity to extend your shelf-life despite being past your best-by date.

Love,  
Mama

P.S. Which competition are you starting with? It’s a little too late for the nationals, isn’t it? You won’t have much time to practise. Can you even participate in international competitions if you miss the nationals?

\---

From: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, December 10, 2016 at 00:11  
Subject: One last hurrah

You’re forgetting who I am. Yura may be the current SP world record holder, but there’s only one thing I love more than a challenge so I’m sure he’ll be dethroned in no time.

(I’m talking about Yuuri, of course. Even _I’m_ not under any delusions that I will be anywhere near Yura’s score if I start so late in the season.)

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, December 10, 2016 at 00:11  
Subject: One last hurrah

Only if you can convince him not to retire.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, December 10, 2016 at 00:13  
Subject: One last hurrah

Don’t remind me.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, December 10, 2016 at 00:15  
Subject: One last hurrah

Vitya, you would forget to put on clothes if nobody reminded you. This is far too important to be left at the mercy of your memory.

Love,  
Mama

\---

From: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
To: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
Date: Sat, December 10, 2016 at 22:52  
Subject: One last hurrah

To have two of my records broken in one competition is sobering. Even I will admit that the likelihood of reclaiming them is very slim—I am, as you like to remind me, nowhere near Yura’s age. But this makes my last season so exciting, don’t you think? For once, I’m not the ‘to beat’. I’m actually the underdog!

Which I’ll have you know is not as romantic as movies make it out to be. It’s only been less than an hour since I’ve had to make way for Yuuri (admittedly gladly, because his FS was perfect and he deserves it just like he deserves the pork cutlet bowl I’ve already asked Mama Katsuki to make for him when we’re back home) as the new FS world record holder, but I’m already starting to worry that working myself to exhaustion will not be enough to take back what I used to have. I dedicated my entire life to those records, after all, and they didn’t even have the grace to last a season.

But the thing about no longer defending these titles is that I can take risks again. I could try something reckless that would spell suicide for my scores but be absolutely stunning as a performance. I could even skate in silence while giving a clinical breakdown of the necessary components (brilliant idea, thank you, very avant-garde; I might use it for an exhibition skate) because what better way to go than with something outrageous, right?

But don’t worry. I’ve been choreographing in my downtime—I have not wanted for inspiration since coming to Hasetsu—and I can put something together before nationals. Yuuri will, of course, take responsibility for my comeback and help me with the choreography.

He will also not be retiring.

I can’t even begin tell you how relieved I was when he asked me to be his coach for another year. Presumably, he intends to continue with the rest of this season and also compete in the next, which means that I’ll face him at Worlds in a few months. We were little better than strangers the last time we competed against each other—this time I get to be there for him at the kiss and cry, and maybe he’ll be there for me too. What better way to end each performance of my last season than to come back to him?

And while we still have many things that we need to talk about, starting with that hideous tie of his that I’ve been meaning to burn since the last GPF banquet, I think we’ll be fine if we left those for tomorrow. We can afford to spend a day celebrating each other’s non-retirement before having to deal with Yuuri’s inexplicable tendency to forget how much I love him and tolerance for tasteless accessories. I don’t want to spend Yuuri’s exhibition skate plotting to destroy that crime against fashion.

I realise I would probably never have gotten here without you, so thank you, Mama. Thank you for teaching me how to hold on to Yuuri.

Love,  
Victor

\---

From: m_nikiforova@gmail.com  
To: n_nikiforov@gmail.com  
Date: Sun, December 11, 2016 at 17:03  
Subject: One last hurrah

I’m almost afraid to ask what Yuuri blackmailed you with for you to thank me out of the blue, but I will graciously accept it anyway because every other time you’ve thanked me has been either a joke or right after a relationship disaster. In return, Vitya, let me thank you for a year of letters more histrionic than your father’s favourite soap opera. I have never been so entertained. You could probably sell your love story for a tidy sum.

I would tell you to treat Yuuri with all the kindness that you've never shown your body, but you probably can’t even bring yourself to think of doing anything but. So, if you ever read this letter to Yuuri, tell him to treat _you_ kindly. As far as I know, you are both equally likely to make each other cry, and since you have Yuuri’s wellbeing taken care of, I feel that it’s perhaps my motherly duty to ensure that yours is too. You’re always looking after him. Let him look after you too. You aren’t made of stone, and even if you are, stones can break under pressure—see your crying episode for reference.

And I know it’s short notice, but we would really love to have him over for New Year’s. Or any time, really. If you can find time in your busy schedule between raiding Yuuri’s wardrobe and coming up with passable programmes for your hasty comeback, there’s always a place at the table for Yuuri. I’m sure we can make space for you too, between the slowly dying potted plant your father insisted on getting and your grandfather’s permanent seat of honour in the corner.

(What I’m saying is please come back to work your magic on the ficus tree/bush/shrub that’s turning an alarming polka-dotted pattern. I suspect that your grandfather may have been pouring his soup into it in a misguided attempt to nurse it back to health, but dealing with living things is not something _I_ do for a living.)

You know, if neither of you chose to continue skating after this GPF, I think Yuuri’s exhibition skate would’ve been a wonderful way to go. If nothing else, it had at least stunned your grandfather into inactivity for long enough that we could clear everything in his reach before he gave our neighbours reason to call law enforcement on us (again). Objectively, it was beautiful. Subjectively, I would pay good money to have the 20-year-old you who didn’t believe in love watch this and accept his eventual descent into domestic bliss. It was truly worthy of your father’s son.

By the way, your father cried when you joined Yuuri during his exhibition skate. He said he never thought he’d see the day you finally found somebody you wanted to keep and who wanted to keep you—vote of confidence against your romancing abilities right there for a total of five out of five in this household (I’m counting Katen’ka’s as well).

But I suppose Yuuri would vote otherwise, and that’s all that really matters in the end.

Love,  
Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! There will be an epilogue (which is as yet unwritten and unplanned, because I have a degree in making unsubstantiated claims), so look out for that. (Should I mark this as complete in the meantime? I haven't finished writing enough long fics to figure this out.) I will, of course, go back to fix awkward sentences and typos when I'm not fearing for my grades. Thank you for reading until (almost) the end. Schedule is according to 2016 Marseilles GPF for the sake of having something to work with. This will probably stop being canon if (when) season 2 starts because how predictable can it be that Victor and Yuuri's themes are life and love, and I honestly don't know if Victor's competing indefinitely, but I'm wrapping this story up the way it is because Victor is positively ancient for a figure skater and he's been harping on about "life and love" so why not.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a list of names and nicknames because Russian names get confusing really quickly otherwise:  
> Victor's grandfather: Ivan Vladimirovich Nikiforov  
> Victor's father: Dmitri Ivanovich Nikiforov (nicknames: Mitya, Dima)  
> Victor's mother: Maria Romanovna Nikiforova (nickname: Masha)  
> Victor's brother: Aleksander Dmitrievich Nikiforov (nickname: Sasha)  
> And apparently Russians address their parents-in-law by given name + patronymic , which is a mouthful and I don't envy Russians.
> 
> (Reposted because this appeared on page 9. _NINE_. _Why_ AO3.)

Dear Mama,

So we talked about it—about everything, really.

First things first, we _are_ engaged. I made sure that Yuuri knew that I want nothing more than to be married to him. Apparently it wasn’t clear enough to him at the airport and at the church in Barcelona. I swear he misunderstands everything if I don’t spell it out for him. And since we don’t have to (can’t, really) sign a legal document to recognise each other as husbands, we figured that we’d just hold all of the ceremonies and that’d be it. I wanted to marry him next spring, but Yuuri thinks we’re moving too quickly (although we’d have known each other for a year by then!) and wants to wait until he’s actually won a gold medal at the GPF.

(I may have said something stupid along the lines of, “We’ll get married when he wins gold.” I thought it’d motivate him, but I didn’t expect for it to backfire so badly. Mama, I kind of really hate my past self right now. I told Yuuri that I’d accept any gold medal but his normally endearing stubbornness and ambition manifested at the worst time possible; he said that _he_ wouldn’t marry me with anything but GPF gold. Not even Worlds, which is more prestigious. How did things end up like this?)

Since I can’t coach myself, and since Yuuri almost ran away screaming when I suggested that he be my coach, I’ve decided to go back to Yakov. We’ve been setting up video call sessions but Yakov is about as tech savvy as a skate boot even with Jora’s help so we spent more time configuring everything than actually skating. Which is why we’re probably moving to St. Petersburg.

But since we’re right in the middle of the season and the Japanese and Russian nationals overlap, I might have to fly over first to train with Yakov before Yuuri can join me after his nationals. This is probably the worst thing I will ever have to endure barring Yuuri breaking up with me (again) for absolutely ridiculous reasons like not doing the dishes (which, just to be clear, I would do if Mama Katsuki would let me).

Long-distance coaching isn’t ideal, but at least I’m more adept than Yakov, whose phone still has a number pad. And besides, Yuuri’s programmes are near perfect—his FS especially. We’ll just have to work on consistency, because that’s what he seems to be needing the most. He is definitely capable of a clean skate when he’s in the right frame of mind, and I’d love for him to be like that always. Maybe our rings will help. He’s never had a good luck charm before even though it’s practically a requirement if you’re skating at this level. Chris has that anklet that his husband gave to him on their first anniversary, and even I have that bracelet you bought when I started training with Yakov. Let’s not even talk about Jora’s and the 50 different pendants he’s worked his way through as he falls in and out of relationships.

So, you know, I hope the rings help. Kissing our rings can be our new pre-skate ritual.

Love,  
Victor

\---

She snaps into wakefulness when her phone buzzes, as one tends to when one’s son is in the habit of sending distressed emails after getting into trouble at odd hours of the day half the world away. Of course, the contribution of one’s father-in-law being a huge fan of dangerous hobbies, which he practises at twilight and dawn to the great ire of one’s neighbours and the local law enforcement, cannot be understated either.

It turns out to be one of her subordinates texting about a gruesome four-car pileup at some ungodly hour of the night that has now given them five more bodies to work with. She’s on leave, though, so she lets herself fall back into bed and pull her husband in closer. Pasha can deal with it himself while she finally sleeps off the fatigue that comes with too much work and too many midnight emails to her romantically hopeless—and hopelessly romantic—son.

Some hours later, she wakes again to loud banging in the kitchen.

“Mitya,” she murmurs into her husband’s jaw, “your father is at it again.”

“Let Sasha deal with it,” he says, before promptly nodding off, light snores making his chest rumble in a not-entirely-unpleasant way. It would be even less unpleasant if the banging outside would stop as well.

She rolls out of bed, groaning, and pulls on her husband’s robe over her nightgown. Warmer than Russian average or not, St. Petersburg is still sub-zero and she would prefer if her blood remained liquid, thank you very much.

Stepping in the kitchen she realises that her father-in-law has apparently managed to make enough kasha1 to tide them over the rest of winter in the time it has taken her to drag her feet to the kitchen. She can't help but think that it's a miracle, given that he has never made kasha before and she isn’t aware that they had the ingredients necessary. The last she checked, they were a week overdue for a grocery run.

“What’s the occasion?” she asks, peering into the pot. It looks edible enough, which is much better than she can say for her husband’s many attempts over the years to make what she can only assume was home-made charcoal.

“New year, new me,” he declares.

“Helpful, but a little less noise would be nice. Also, it’s the eve.”

“New year, new you,” he tells her anyway, shoving a bowl into her hands. “Wake up earlier, Masha.”

She takes a bite. It’s actually good. “Corpses aren’t in any hurry to get anywhere. I have all the time in the world,” she says between mouthfuls. “And I’m having a day off, if it isn’t apparent enough by now.”

“Less talking, more eating,” he instructs, and she obeys, because she is not an idiot. Despite her best attempts to remove all sharp, metal objects from the house, it would be a mistake worthy of her son’s tragic inability to comfort his fiancée to assume that this means that he’s harmless. One does not simply drop a six foot five man without knowing some form of extreme martial arts, although she will not discount the sheer force of his presence factoring in somehow either.

“Is Sasha up yet?”

“Still asleep, like Dima.”

“As we should be too, given that we’ll be up until late tonight.”

“Sleep is overrated, Masha,” he tells her seriously.

“You’ll die without it, Ivan Vladimirovich,” she says. “I know—I’ve seen enough dead bodies; we get at least one a year that stopped moving because of sleep deprivation.”

He stares at her with blue eyes that are far too keen for somebody his age. “Dima chose well. I approve of you.”

“We’ve been married for over 30 years.”

“Divorce him and marry him again.”

“I’m not divorcing Mitya, Ivan Vladimirovich.”

“See, I like you. This is why I approve,” he says, sounding incredibly satisfied. She can't decide if she has the heart to tell him that his approval, while touching, has no bearing on whether she remains married.

Thankfully, she is prevented from making a decision when her son—the other one that is actually a functional human being—shuffles into the kitchen with half-lidded eyes and bedhead so messy that it puts her husband’s handwriting to shame.

“What is it this year? Learning Spanish? Writing his name in sand every night? Shouting at sea gulls?” Sasha asks after an impressively long yawn.

“Making kasha, apparently. But I’m sure he’ll find a way to transform it into something news-worthy anyway. Good morning, Sasha.”

“Mornin’, Mama.”

“Eat, Sasha,” her father-in-law says to her son. Then, to her, “Where’s Vitya?”

“Training, remember? He barely edged out Yurochka for gold at nationals, and that was only because Yurochka was down with the flu just the day before. You know how he hates anything less than perfection.”

“Where’s my grandson-in-law? He did well. No training for him.”

“Future grandson-in-law,” she corrects. “I actually have no idea. Vitya hasn’t updated me on Yuuri’s flight, and Yuuri replies to texts as reliably as people can be counted on to not do stupid things like ride a unicycle across a tight-rope stretched between two skyscrapers. Which is to say, not at all, because I just dealt with two such bodies yesterday.”

“Don’t bring work to meals, Mama. You know it never sits well with us. And this is really good, dedushka. Seconds?”

“Pot,” her father-in-law says, stabbing a thumb at the rest of the kasha.

It is at this point, when her son has started filling his bowl with suspiciously normal kasha, that her husband finally makes his appearance.

“Morning, Papa, Masha, Sasha,” he mumbles, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Morning, Mitya. Have some kasha. Your father made it.”

That wakes him—she can see the moment he goes from half-asleep to looking like somebody just set his newest paper on fire. “What?”

“It tastes good and doesn’t look like the minced innards of a pig, so it’s already safer and more legal than his last hobby.”

“Oh thank god.”

The doorbell rings, followed by a quick tattoo of knocks and the suspiciously familiar sound of paws on wood.

“Did the neighbour want us to dog-sit again?” her husband asks as he pushes up his glasses when the spoon misses his mouth by a mile.

She gets up, tugging her robe tighter around her. “Not that I know of. They said they were taking their dogs with them.”

The knocks become more insistent, so she hurries before whoever is on the other side breaks their door down.

“Mama!” is all the warning she gets before her ribs are crushed by somebody who probably shouldn’t be here. Thankfully, it doesn’t last long, and she eventually gets a good look at her son—the one that isn’t a functional human being by any standards—and his cold-flushed cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much!”

"Did Yakov have a stroke or something?”

Her son laughs. It lights his face up in a way that hasn’t happened in a decade; this past year has been good for him. “How mean. I’m perfectly capable of requesting a few days off to visit you when I want to. And as grumpy as Yakov is, he celebrates the New Year too.”

“Then explain why you haven’t been over for New Year’s in three years.” At her feet, Makkachin nudges her hand, so she reaches down to scratch behind an ear. Ah, she has missed this old girl.

“I didn’t want to, obviously," he says, and at least has the grace to look sheepish. "Dedushka never stops talking about the virtues of marriage, and I had better things to do than be told I’m not fulfilling my purpose in life if I don’t settle down and give him great-grandchildren.”

“Does your presence today mean you _are_ settling down and giving him great-grandchildren?”

“Hmm,” he says, touching a finger to his lips. Then, he turns. “What do you think of children, Yuuri?”

She peers around her son, and there he is.

Katsuki Yuuri, in all his bespectacled glory, hair dusted with slowly melting snowflakes. The light of the rising sun behind him catches on his hair and his ring, and she can see exactly why her son is so prone to breaking out in bad poetry about Yuuri’s beauty because she too is experiencing a sudden urge to do the same, followed by fervently offering her gratitude to whatever higher power brought Yuuri to her son.

“Maybe eventually, if I don’t die of frostbite out here first,” Yuuri mumbles, drawing his scarf over his nose.

Oh, she loves him already.

\---

Surprisingly, Yuuri and her father-in-law get along like a house on fire. After a few stilted exchanges over kasha and under Vitya’s apprehensive scrutiny, her father-in-law stuns everyone by bringing out a bowl of rice and pork and moving Yuuri to tears.

“Eat, Yuuri,” her father-in-law says in accented English.

“Thank you,” Yuuri replies in equally accented Russian, then proceeds to do exactly as he is told.

“I’m going to marry him, you know,” Vitya whispers to her while Yuuri barely succeeds at not inhaling his food.

She pats his shoulder and smiles at the besotted look on her son’s face. “Trust me, we know.”

She also says a silent prayer for Yuuri because, while she isn't particularly superstitious, she might as well be. There is no scientific explanation for how her father-in-law managed any of this in a kitchen stocked with nothing but vodka and three potatoes.

\---

She doesn’t mean to pry, but Vitya’s room is next to hers and they’ve left the door open. Perhaps it can’t even be called prying if she only understands a third of the things they say because they can’t seem to stick to one language.

Their conversation drifts through the crack between the door and its frame in soft, honeyed lilts. It reminds her of rainy days spent curled up in bed with her husband, reading a book with a mug of tea nearby while he scribbles furiously into a notebook like a man possessed. She wonders if they too are hyperaware of the places where their skins touch, if they smile for no reason other than the fact that they’re beside each other.

What will they be like ten years from now, when they’ve had time to settle into each other’s shapes? To fill the tiniest cracks and seal them with—as sappy as this might sound—love? She thinks of her son, crying in a bathroom, and of Yuuri, dull-eyed and all alone in Moscow.

Perhaps they’re already on their way there, breaking each other apart and putting themselves back together in a way that makes their cracks line up like broken pieces of pottery sealed with gold, more beautiful for its imperfections. She sees it in the casual mix of languages, sees it in Yuuri accepting Russian into his life and Vitya delighting in what Japanese he understands, sees them trading bits and pieces of themselves for more of the other.

It’s lovely, really. She hasn’t heard her son giggle like that since he took his first step onto the ice and never looked back. Yuuri’s own laughter is breathier, more exhalation than anything else, but it’s unmistakable. On the other side of the door, Yuuri says her son’s name, says, “Victor,” and, more softly after a beat, “Vitya.”

She doesn’t need ears to hear her son shout Yuuri’s name, doesn’t need eyes to see the ugliness that is Vitya’s broadest, brightest smile, the one that splits his face into two2 and has never been shown to anyone outside of this family. Yuuri murmurs something indistinct but she knows, just like she knows that the expanse of Vitya’s forehead is his greatest shame, that it lights another smile on her son’s face. Something equally ugly, no doubt, or even uglier. He certainly didn’t inherit that from _her_. It’s a good thing that Yuuri’s eyesight is as bad as her husband’s, otherwise he might already have left if he could see Vitya properly.

But still, ugly smiles or not, the devastating gentleness of their voices makes her want to fetch a priest immediately, laws be damned.

\---

A few minutes before the clock strikes midnight, Yuuri prises himself out of Vitya’s painful-looking hold on him.

“Maria Romanovna, may I speak with you for a moment?” he asks her, his fingers wringing themselves into contortions that shouldn’t be possible no matter how flexible he is. Did Vitya teach him how to address her? She supposes that he would be eager enough for Yuuri to join the family that he’s probably taught him how to address literally everyone in his family—not a hardship by any stretch of imagination, given how small it is.

She glances over to her son, who is staring at her like he has no idea what is going on. To be fair, he rarely does, unless it has anything to do with figure skating. Then again, Yuuri isn’t all too different either. She remembers how prone he is to misunderstanding all of Vitya’s actions and intentions to the point where he concluded that it’d be a great idea to break up literally a day after her son thought they’d gotten engaged.

“Sure.”

Yuuri leads her in complete silence to Vitya’s room and closes the door behind them. In the dim light of the streetlamps outside, with just the two of them and the quiet, rhythmic ticking of the wall clock, falling snow casting the most marvellous pattern of shadows across Yuuri’s pale skin, she observes him between one breath and the next, waiting for him to speak.

“I wanted to give this to you,” he finally says, holding out with both hands an envelope beautifully embossed with a spray of silver, held together with a blue ribbon. In the middle, edged unmistakably in gold, are two interlocking rings3. “An early New Year’s present.”

“What’s this?” she asks, even though she has a feeling that she already knows.

“It’s a surprise for Victor. I’ll let him know at the end of this season. Nothing has been decided yet, but I want to let you know that I’m very serious about this—about him.” He licks his lips, then bites them. He’s scared, she realises, and she marvels at his determination to go through with this anyway. He’s stronger than her son gives him credit for. “I’m sorry about what happened in Barcelona. I promise that I will never think of leaving him again, if he will have me, and I hope that this sufficiently expresses my sincerity,” he continues, sounding very nervous and very much rehearsed. She doesn’t blame him, really, if this is what she thinks it is.

And the thing is, she knows why he did what he did. She’s heard from Vitya about Yuuri’s anxiety and his insecurity so often that it barely came as a surprise when everything came crashing down before the GPF.

But she has also seen how Yuuri misses her son when he’s gone, and endured Vitya’s ramblings about being the only person Yuuri ever let get so close. So maybe she is justified in her certainty that this man who stands before her, who despite his fears is _telling_ her that he is never leaving her son instead of asking to be allowed to stay, is more than worthy of Vitya’s messy, messy heart.

“Thank you. I leave my son in your care.”

\---

Mr. and Mrs. Dmitri Ivanovich Nikiforov

\---

Viktor Dmitrievich Nikiforov  
_Виктор Дмитриевич Никифоров_

&

Yūri Katsuki  
_勝生勇利_

Formally request the honour of your presence at their wedding on  
_(Date to be determined, but definitely before the next season)_  
At Yūtopia Katsuki  
847-8511 Saga-ken, Hasetsu-shi, 4-1 Yūtopia Katsuki

 

_(Victor really wants to hold it in Hasetsu, but we are more than willing to have a ceremony in St. Petersburg, too, if his grandfather cannot make the trip to Japan.)_

\---

Dear Yuuri,

We would love to attend.

Love,  
Your future mother-in-law

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 Pseudocereal buckwheat. More about it on [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kasha).  
> 2 I can't get Victor's reaction after Yuuri tells him he's not retiring out of my mind. His face was _hilarious_.  
>  3 Russian symbol of marriage, common on wedding invitations if Wikipedia is to be believed.  
> Other notes: I Google translated Victor's name--hopefully it's too simple for Google to mess up. Also, the surprise for Victor that Yuuri mentions at the end is them getting married before the next season--i.e. Regardless of whether Yuuri wins any gold medals at all this season or the next or at any GPF. He's not actually going to wait until he gets a GPF gold medal.
> 
> Thank you all of you wonderful people who have stuck around until now! I owe Viaorel a truckload of thanks for helping with nicknames. Needless to say, any mistakes are my own. I was really looking forward to writing grandpa-Yuuri interactions but I hit a block I couldn't get past, so this ended up focusing on Mama and her musings about Victuuri. I hope it still worked. I also hope that my non-epistolary writing is sufficiently entertaining and not too jarring after 17.5 chapters of letters (and one wedding invitation lmao).
> 
> I'm thinking of starting another fic (probably a one-shot) about Yuuri writing to Victor's mother, which is why this fic is now part of a series, but fair warning, I'm not good at keeping fic-writing promises.
> 
> Also, if anybody likes Yuuri being crazy smart, I wrote a short AU where he's a Nobel laureate and Victor somehow manages to not find out for eight months.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The First To Know](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10940916) by [poppysicle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppysicle/pseuds/poppysicle)




End file.
